Please rate my essay for toefl_ one day before exam

Hello sir,
I wrote this essay from one of the post in this forum.

The reading passage and the lecturer talks about altruism which is a type of behavior in which an animal sacrifices its own interest for another animal or group of animals. The reading passage sates that altruism is opposite of selfishness, and individuals performing altruism act gain nothing for themselves. It gives examples of humans and meerkats to illustrate this. However, the lecture casts doubt about the point made in the reading passage and states that it is kind of assumptions and presents new points which show that it is not a selfless act.

To begin with, the reading passage talks about the meerkat and states that a sentinel meerkat put its life in danger to warn its other species about the predator such as hawk without getting anything in return. However, the lecturer states that a sentinel has already eaten before it stands as guard for others, and its chances to survive is more than its other species because many times it stands near to its dwell. Therefore, it is easy for it to run in to dwell. She also states that according to another theory, the sentinel often put its species lives in danger by making alarm cry. She explains that this cry draws predators attention to the other side where other species are running to save their lives. Thus it cannot be counted as a selfless act. This directly challenges the assertion made in the reading passage.

In addition, the reading passage gives an example of a human who gives his body parts to his family members and even stranger. However the lecture states that if a human donate his kidney to others, he gets rewards in return. He gets a lot of appreciation from other people. Furthermore for some people, it is more valuable to gain the rewards and self worth, therefore they donate their body parts to others. This also appears to a contradiction to the information stated in the reading passage that shows a selfless act of humans.

Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Others prefer to live with their families for a linger time. Which situation do you think better? Describe your opinion and give example to support your answer.

Family is a precious thing for a person because he has stareted his life living with them from his birth. However as a person grows and arrive at the stage of adolescent, he feels that he is not happy with his family, and prefers to live alone for his independence. At this age, he thinks that he cannot enjoy his freedom living with his family. However, I feel that young adults should live with their families for a longer time because at this age, they need their families’ advice and guidance in their difficult situation, families teaches young adults responsibility, and I personally feel that we can enjoy more living with our families.

To begin with, family always guide us and help us to make important decisions of our lives. They have more experienced different situations in their lives because they are older that us, therefore, they have more knowledge than us. Sometimes young adults feel that they are now mature and do not need their families’ advice. However, they always need their guidance and support. Even though they do not realise at this time, they understand the importance of their families in their life in their later. For example, one of my friends left his parents’ home as he felt that he was not getting his freedom there. Nevertheless, he realized that it not easy to live alone without family members. He had to pay bills, and had to cook for himself. Then he understood that he needs his family, and had decided to came back to them. Thus we always need our families’ support.

In addition, familiy members teach us to be responsible, and this helps young adults in their future career when they hold jobs. For example, when I was a child, my parents often assigned some housework to my brother and me. They often wanted me to take care of my younger siblings when they were out of home. I used to do this work with more care, and this helped me to be responsible. This skills helps me in my study, and will aslo help me in my furure jobs. Thus families teach us many skills, which help us in our future.

Last but not least, I personally feel that we enjoy more living with family members. In my family, my parents have lived their lives with my grandparents. They are still living with us, and actually we enjoy each others’ company. We always take our dinner together, watch movies together, and take picnics together. Besides that, my grandparents often help my mother and father in their work. So I feel that it is more fun living together, and I will live do the same.

To sum it up, even though some young adults want to live their families for their independence. I always prefer to live with them as long as I can because they always support us and guide us; they teaches us many skills which make us responsibe, and it is more fun to live with.

Thank you.

TOEFL listening lectures: What does the professor imply about Leonardo da Vinci?