Please Luschen review and rate this independent essay.

[Loly1]

Topic: Telecommuting (working for a company from home rather than in the office and communicating with the office by computer) is becoming more and more common. Discuss the advantages of telecommuting versus working in an office . Then indicate which do you prefer and why?

Today we are living in an era that is basically shaped by technology which caused revolutionary changes in all life aspects. Jobs for instance became much more easier and more manageable thanks to computers and internet. In my point of view, I prefer working via the internet at home rather than going to office daily.

First of all, no one can deny that working through the internet for a company is much more better than going to the workplace everyday. Specially, for me as a lady with a child; who needs looking after, besides it enables me to safe money that should be spent for a nany or kindergarten while working, i really prefer staying with my baby at home and conducting my job online.

Second, working at home does not require too much preparation like getting dressed, driving for a job or riding a bus, and preparing food before going to work. Thus, we would save that time for an extra work hours through the internet as well as saving money of buying new cloths, or transportation expenses.

Third, this kind of job is very suitable for some people characters who experience social shyness or incapable of treating successfully with customers. Because they are not in direct contact with them, thing that might give them better chances of presenting high performance. For example, one of my friends work as an information technology consultant for HP company. Indeed, she lack good communication skills and that triggered customers complaints, after a severe time in her work, she decided to work through the internet and receive customer calls about HP products. Surprisingly, she achieved many high rate as a feedback about the service she provided.

In conclusion, however, going to office everyday might be not boring in comparison to work at home via telecommuting, but I really feel more comfortable if I had an online job for all reasons I mentioned. Finally, it is a personal preference issue that differs from one to another.

TOEFL listening lectures: What does ‘monotreme’ mean?

[Luschen]

Hi Loly, your writing is pretty good, but I think you have written the wrong type of essay for this prompt. Still, you did a good job at expressing your ideas, though you do have some odd phrases here and there and some minor grammatical errors.

@Loly1

Topic: Telecommuting (working for a company from home rather than in the office and communicating with the office by computer) is becoming more and more common. Discuss the advantages of telecommuting versus working in an office . Then indicate which do you prefer and why?

Today we are living in an era that is basically {“basically” sounds a bit odd here - maybe “significantly”} shaped by technology which [has] caused revolutionary changes in all life aspects.{“aspects of life” is better} Jobs for instance became much more easier and more manageable thanks to computers and internet. In my point of view, I prefer working via the internet at home rather than going to office daily. {this thesis is not quite right for this type of prompt - this is a “discuss both sides of the issue and then give your opinion” prompt : urch.com/forums/twe/12765-to … -tips.html }

First of all, no one can deny that working through the internet for a company is much more better than going to the workplace everyday.{two words here} Specially, for me as a lady with a child; who needs looking after, {comma before “specially” and period here} besides it enables me to safe money that should[would] be spent for a nan[ny] or kindergarten{“preschool” is better - kindergarten is usually free} while working, [I ] really prefer staying with my baby at home and conducting my job online.

Second, working at home does not require too much preparation like getting dressed, driving for[to] a job or riding a bus, and preparing food before going to work. Thus, we would save that time for an extra work hours through the internet{“through the internet” is a bit confusing here} as well as saving money of [on] buying new cloth[es], or transportation expenses.

Third, this kind of job is very suitable for some people[‘s] characters {“personalities” is better} who experience social shyness or [are] incapable of treating[“dealing” or “interacting”] successfully with customers. Because they are not in direct contact with them[other people], thing that[ this] might give them better chances of presenting{“achieving” is better here} high performance. For example, one of my friends work[s ] as an information technology consultant for HP company. Indeed, she lack[s ] good communication skills and that triggered customers[’] complaints, {new sentence} after a severe{“stressful” seems better} time in her work, she decided to work through the internet and receive customer calls about HP products. Surprisingly, she achieved many high rat[ings] as a feedback about the service she provided.

In conclusion, however, going to office everyday{two words here} might be not [be] boring in comparison to work[ing] at home via telecommuting, but I really feel more comfortable if I ha[ve] {or better “would feel … if I had …”} an online job for all reasons I mentioned. Finally, it is a personal preference issue that differs from one to another.

TOEFL listening lectures: What does ‘monotreme’ mean?