Please help me to check the errors in my essayO(∩_∩)O

There must be many mistakes in my essay, the tense, the grammar… please help me to figure them out, I’ll appreciate it so much~~

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

In twenty years, there will be fewer cars in use than there are today.

When asking whether cars have changed our life enormously, I will say YES without hesitation considering great efficiency and joys a car has brought us, ever since Model T was introduced by Mr. Ford. During the past 100 years, a car was changed from a luxury to a family necessity, which can be proved by the continuously increase in car sales. Basing on such tendency, and considering new techniques and the better life in the future, I can’t support the idea that there will be fewer cars in twenty years. I will demonstrate my views from the following aspects.

To begin with, I’d like to cast my eyes on science and technology. Clearly, developed science have created low cost raw materials of cars such as steel, oak, plastic and so on, while new technology, including higher productive efficiency and less material waste, makes the cost of car production reduce. A good example is Tata Nano, cars that produced in India, sales less than 2000 dollars, which engages a considerable amount of people to purchase. Since such techniques will be more mature in twenty years, the price of a car will be cheaper than ever before. Definitely, more people will be affordable to a car. In this way, I completely agree that more cars will be seen on the road in the future.

Besides lower cost, citizens, especially those in developing countries, will be richer years later, not only in materials but spirits as well. Looking at the rapid economic growth in those developing countries, nobody will deny that their national income will be astonishingly higher in future years, thus purchasing a car is no longer a dream. As for spiritual aspect, obviously, high salaries always leads to growing needs of spiritual enjoyments, travel included. A car, people will be able to go anywhere they look forward to freely. Meanwhile, a car also makes it possible to go to a party far from home. And the most fantastic thing is that for anyone that lives far from work place, there will be no need to get up early to catch up a bus, driving will save much time. Considering such advantages, it seems quite reasonable that no one hates to be a beneficiary of a car. Hence, how can I draw the conclusion that cars will be fewer in the future?

In fact, I will never deny that vehicle exhaust do harm to our environment when looking up the statistics of contaminant during the past years. Considering such a drawback, some people believe that either there will be more people concern about the surroundings they live, or traffic jam will drive them crazy, and thus they will abandon their vehicles. However, digging up their theory, I find that a fact is ignored—not only do new science and technology bring us inexpensive cars, but also better fuel that is environmentally friendly. At the same time, we will live in a better regulated city with better roads and other traffic facilities in twenty years, and accordingly, no pollution or accidents will be with us. Besides, who wants to reject such a fabulous invention?

Looking at the advantages and encouraging perspective, I’m optimistic that instead of being fewer, more varieties of cars will play significant roles in our life in twenty years. Such an increase will benefit both individuals and our society because cars will make our life easier and car production can provide many available jobs in a variety of fields. Basing on these reasons, I believe that there will be more cars in twenty years.

TOEFL listening lectures: Which designer did not work at the Bauhaus?

Hi, this is an excellent essay. Very convincing. Outstanding introduction and very good structure. I could only find a few grammatical mistakes - please see my suggestions below. Did you really write this in the allotted time? It seems quite long.

In fact, I used 40mins。。 I hope I can be more quickly…
and thank you so much!~