Hi! My name is Teo. Let me take this opportunity to introduce myself.
I have several hobbies. First and foremost, I enjoy writing Chinese calligraphy. It’s traditional Chinese culture. Whenever write, I can feel every character bring the history of Chinese calligraphy to me. Though I’m still a new learner, I practice every weekend to make the characters I write more beautiful.
Besides writing Chinese calligraphy, I love playing Chinese chess. In the past, most of the soldiers played it during their free time. The game represents a battle between two armies with the object of capturing the enemy’s general. I usually play it with my friends. It makes my thinking active.
Moreover, I’m a crazy baseball fan, a Yankees’ fan. I have watched plenty of games since I was little. I have tremendous love for baseball deep in my heart. Hence, I can’t live without baseball. It contains bodies’ power and beauty. I play baseball to keep in shape and to control my temper not to get temperamental.
In regard to my aspiration, I would like to be a doctor of traditional Chinese medicine. Traditional Chinese medicine is an essential part of Chinese culture. Furthermore, it is a style of traditional medicine built on a foundation of more than 2,500 years of Chinese medical practice that includes various forms of herbal medicine, acupuncture, massage, exercise, and dietary therapy, but has recently also been influenced by modern Western medicine. Tens of millions doctors have used this antique medical science to heal people. I wish I can be one part of them to treat patients.
Hi Teo, welcome to the forum. I think your essay already sounds quite natural as written. I was able to make a few suggestions though:
Hi! My name is Teo. Let me take this opportunity to introduce myself.
I have several hobbies. First and foremost, I enjoy writing Chinese calligraphy. It’s traditional Chinese culture. Whenever [I ]write, I can feel every character bring the history of Chinese calligraphy to me. Though I’m still a new learner, I practice every weekend to make the characters I write more beautiful.
Besides writing Chinese calligraphy, I love playing Chinese chess. In the past, most ~~ of the ~~ soldiers [in the Red Army] {or do you mean further in the past? or just soldiers in general? You should not say “the soldiers” unless you have already specified a particular group of soldiers} played it during their free time. The game represents a battle between two armies with the object of capturing the enemy’s general. I usually play it with my friends[, since it sharpens my thinking skills.]
Moreover, I’m a crazy baseball fan, a Yankees’ fan. I have watched plenty of games since I was little. I have tremendous love for baseball deep in my heart. Hence, I can’t live without baseball. It [encapsulates the human] {or “expresses the human …”} bodies’ power and beauty. I play baseball to keep in shape and to control my temper[ so as] not to get temperamental.
In regard to my aspiration, I would like to be a doctor of traditional Chinese medicine. Traditional Chinese medicine is an essential part of Chinese culture. Furthermore, it is a style of traditional medicine built on a foundation of more than 2,500 years of Chinese medical practice that includes various forms of herbal medicine, acupuncture, massage, exercise, and dietary therapy, but has recently also been influenced by modern Western medicine. Tens of millions doctors have used this [time-honored] medical science {“antique” sounds odd in this context - “antiquated” would be the word, but that has a negative connotation that you don’t want here} to heal people. I wish [to join this revered group in treating] patients.