Please grade my writing - 4

Grade it and suggest me for improving writings as well as point out my weakness. Thanks in advance.

The overuse of natural resources causes an ultimate exhaust of them. People have been using them to be in swim of new styles such as making furniture of recent design. This causes a huge harm to the environment. Therefore, government should discourage people the overuse of their resources.
To what extent do you support the idea?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience. You should write at least 250 words.


Natural resources are a very important and limited wealth for a country. There is no easy and usable artificial technique to reproduce them again. Even there is no other acceptable substitute of natural resources such as oil, gas, tree etc. So we are bounded to use them for our daily life. For this reason, everyone should use natural resources without wasting. Government also should introduce the laws for protecting wasting and discourage people from overuse of their resources.
Noone can think a couple of minutes without Oxygen. Trees are the one and only factory for producing Oxygen and these trees are natural resource. We use them for generating fire, making furniture, home, and structure for many purposes. There is a mandatory percentage of trees that should be remained in terms of people and place but some people cut trees without considering these percentage. This is not acceptable for any one and some organization working to save trees and motivate people for replanting.
Another resources are oil and gas. Middle East countries economy are based on their principle natural resource of oil. Nothing is available for oil substitute and no artificial technique is acceptable for producing oil or gas. Everyday we need oil for driving vehicles, generating electricity, cooking etc some others useful daily work in modern world. On the other hand, oil or gas are limited and only one source which is nature. So we should use them no more than demand because we have to save them for our future generation.
In conclusion, we understand that there is no way to survive other than saving natural resources. So people should be awared about the importance of natural resources and the method of protecting them. Government has the vital role for increasing the awareness of people by discourage the overuse of their resources and introducing laws for illegal use or wasting of resources.

Grade it and suggest me for improving writings as well as point out my weakness. Thanks in advance.

TOEFL listening discussions: What will the student try to do with his next essay?

Hi, I thought this essay was probably your best so far. Your essay sounded much more natural than the essay prompt - where did you get that from? Still, you do have some awkward sounding phrases. I think your essay correctly addressed the topic and had a good structure. Your sentences and vocabulary are fairly basic, but you should probably work on getting your grammar better before trying to increase the complexity of your sentences. Overall, I think this would score a band 6.

Thanks Luschen,
Thanks for your compliment. I have written it from my own knowledge within 40 minutes but question is collected from a ielts writing book. :slight_smile:
Your instruction is right, i have focused on grammar than increasing complexity of sentence.
I am trying hard, and try to write at least one essay every day.