Please grade my essay...

  1. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing a game is fun only when you win. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Whether people play games only to win is a heated subject of much debate. Some people affirm that winning is the most important aspect of the game. They point out that winning is an incentive to participate otherwise one will have no motivation to take part. Moreover, the proponents of this viewpoint assert that without winning the game will be uninteresting and disappointing. However, despite those arguments, as far as I am concerned there are other key elements in playing games that are more significant than winning.
To begin with, games help to improve the brainpower. It is indisputable that mental games such as chess help to ingrain the skills of setting up different strategies and handling challengies. There is no doubt that while playing chess one learns to create different policies for different situation, predict the steps of the rival and estimate the influence of each step on the outcomes. Moreover, one acquires knowledge and gain more experience while playing games. There are many intelectual games which allow children to read many books and expand their comprehension. For example, once I with my classmates took part in an intelectual game “What, where, when?”. We worked very hard, read many books on different fields and contributed everything we were capable of doing. Despite the fact that we did not win, that experience helped us to explore the world around us, widen our horizon and view the world from a different angle.
In addition, physical games positively impact ones’ health. Playing such games as tennis and football one runs and while running increases his blood circulation and burns the excess fat present in his body. It is indubitable that physical games help to keep the body fit and not to suffer from obesity. For example, my friend used to play basketball and she is always in good shape.Moreover, she is very healthy and does not catch a cold easily.
Finally, games mould one character. It is indisputable that while paying games one learns to persist and persevere. Furthermore, while playing in a team one learns to cooperate and get along with different types of people. Moreover, games instill the spirit of competitiveness in participants. They learn to struggle and not to give up. There is no doubt that games also help to adapt good habits and get rid of bad ones. My own experience may shed some light in this point I took part in tennis championship in my university. Realizing the importance of the championship I got rid of my bad habit of leaving things half done and learnt not to procrastinate. Despite the fact I did not win from then on I demonstrated to be an organized and disciplined person.
To sum up, there are some more important aspects in games beside winning. Games help us to hone our skills, attain more knowledge and shape our personality. Moreover, physical games help us to be healthy and always be in good shape.

Mr Luschen, I know that this topic is too close to the latest one and vocabulary is almost the same, however, I would like you to grade this essay too. Thank you.

TOEFL listening lectures: What is the main danger of obesity?

Hi Ani, I think this is one of your best essays. Really good structure and development of your ideas. Only a few minor errors, but I would still rate this a 5 out of 5.