Please grade my essay-Advertising. Thank you very much.

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Advertisements’ supreme goal is to make people interested in new products. There is a group of people claiming that we are boosted to buy things that might not be needed. However, it depends on our own decision to purchase what essential and good for our lives. In my perspective, advertisements bring me the options to select the advanced products that are perfect choices for me and my family.
Firstly, advertising activities are helpful in introducing goods to people. We sometimes might not realize what we need in our lives. The innovative ideas usually are applied in the new products which we assume at first that it is not necessary. The advertisement campaigned have been contributing in changing the attitude of people about what if the new products would improve their lives. For example, television was thought to be ridiculous rectangular boxes that only idiots would sit down and watch people in it. By advertising how entertaining, relaxing and useful it is, we now hardly picture our lives without a television. We enjoy it much more than we could imagine. That truly gives credit for advertising strategies to make the changes.
Besides, among the choices given by numerous productions, advertising somehow directs us to what we need and that makes it easier for us to make a decision. Of all the products recommended, there are some we could not afford while there are other goods bringing us equivalent benefit with reasonable costs. Obviously, choosing the adequate products with inexpensive purchase could save our money. For example, I chose the Samsung phone instead of others when I wanted a mobile device. The advertisements of Samsung mobile sounds interesting and showed me all the functions which are what I want In addition, it was sold with a reasonable price and the customer services are good. It is us making the decisions and indispensably, the advertising is beneficial.
In conclusion, introducing new products is the predominant aim of advertising. It is called an effective strategy if people want to buy the products even though it is not needed. However, in general, advertising activities help people to make the premier choices among others.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a professor and a university student in the professor’s office

Hi Nhukhue, I thought this was a very good effort. Your structure is clear and your reasons and examples are very convincing. You do have some phrases that could be worded better, along with a few errors in word choices. Overall though it is excellent - I would rate this a 4.5 out of 5.