Please give me feedback. Writing task 1

English as a Second Language English Vocabulary, Grammar and Idioms
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The pie charts illustrate the proportion of water used for various purposes in six regions of the world.

Overall, it can be clearly seen that water was used for agricultural purpose in all regions except for North America and Europe.

In Africa and Central Asia, water was used mostly in agricultural areas at 84% and 88%, while the percentage of the industrial use more by 2% than that of domestic use of water in the same areas. Moreover, in South East Asia and South America, water use in agricultural fields comprised of the largest share of total usage of water, 81% and 71%, while the percentage of domestic use of water was more by 9% than that of industrial use of water in South America. Meanwhile, the percentage of water used in industry sector was more than by 5% water used in homes.

When it comes to North America, the percentage of water use in industrial areas nearly half, whereas the percentage of agricultural use was at 39% and that of three times than domestic use. For Europe, we can say that water used for industry made up the greatest part of its total water usage by just over half, while the proportion of agricultural use of water more doubled that of domestic use.

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I would the plural form here: for agricultural purposes

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Thank you. What about the rest of the text?

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I think in this sentence you need to insert ‘respectively’ after the two percentages and in the second part something is missing. Either you need a verb (increased by 2%) or you need a passive form (was used).

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Thank you very much @Torsten I think I should insert “was” after the “industrial use”.

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What’s the TOEFL writing essay template?
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