Please correct my essay. Thanks in advance!

Topic:Teachers should not make their social or political views know to students in the classroom.

When it comes to issue of whether teachers should make their own view of social or political known to students in the classroom, some suggest that it is dangerous action if teacher do so, while others take an opposite view. As far as I am concerned, the latter point carries more weight.

First, and foremost, no doubt that schools are not only the places where teach students knowledge, but they should tell students how to think, and how to form their own value as well. Nowadays, most of teachers do their utmost to help students achieve both on their score and thought. We can imagination that how terrible it will be if the teachers only follow the contents in textbooks. In addition, showing their views can raise students thinking. We can find some fierce debates in classroom when students are talking about different social or political views. However, finally they will understand each other and recognize that it is possible for the society existing different ideas and views about one same thing.

Furthermore, sometimes teacher cannot avoid stating their own opinion about the social and political views, and these topics are essential for students to understand the context of learning. A small example may shed some light on this point. When my art history teacher took class for us, she liked to take comparison between the pieces of art made in the past and some contemporary pieces and gave us her own opinions about how these different came out. It also had a great influenced by the environment of society and the political. Therefore, she could not avoid illustrating her own opinion of these ‘sensitive’ topics.

Last, but not the least, even if teachers does not share their view, students also can get different voices from other channels, such as mass media, parents and friends. If teachers can influence students realized that it is common and essential for people have different standpoints on social and political issues, and can trigger students to build up their own thought, it will have positive effect both on students and on society.

Admittedly, it may be true that there are some potential disadvantages if teachers make their social and political views know to student, however, the benefit listed above outweigh the dangers.

All in all, if all the factors are contemplated, we can easily reach a conclusion that it doesn’t matter for teachers to show their views on social or political to their students, and for some aspects, it is an excellent way to educate students.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a social studies class

Hi, I enjoyed reading your essay. I thought you had some excellent ideas and they were presented nicely. Your thesis statement seemed pretty weak though, I think it is much better just to give your opinion clearly. You seemed to have quite a few problems with choosing the correct preposition and you had some unclear sentences and some poor word choices scattered throughout your essay. Overall, I would rate this a 3.5 out of 5.