Please correct and rate my Toefl essay! Thank you very much!

Topic: It is better for children to grow up in the country than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.
Essay:

Many people along with me who had grown up in the country can hardly forget the wonderful childhood that passed peacefully .The memories of the time when I usually go fishing in a cool afternoon or the smell of corn fields will also never fade from my heart. However, to be honest, I believe that it is better for children to grow up in a big city so they can be nourished and also develop living skills better than to grow up in the country.

First of all, growing up in a big city provide children many chances to practice their living skills. There is a fact in my country that the children who live far away from the city have a lower English lever than in big city. The reason for this is that there are more English centers and English is used commonly in the city. We all know that English skill is greatly effects children’s life in the future, especially in this commercial time. In addition, the modern life requires from children various skills such as communication, teamwork and using computer. Urban children can practice all this skills through work and study in the active and combinative society. However, in case of the country, the simple life without computer, working in group will prevent children from developing these important skills.

Secondly, parents can take of their children well in a city. Its infrastructure is modern. There many child patients from the country have to be taken to the city’s hospital since heath cares centers in the country cannot cure the patients due to the lack of medicine or trained doctor. Some of them die before they reach the hospital. There is clear that if they live in the city, they can be transferred to the hospital quickly and there is no regret death. Furthermore, they can receive an adequate supply of nutrients. The life in the country is sometimes so hard and there is not enough food, especially when the agricultural products prices are low, so farmers can get enough money to support their families. This problem can hardly occur in the city where people’s incomes are high, so parents do not have to worry about supporting food for their children.

In conclude, children should grow up in a city in order to get the indispensible living skills and to be cared well. The fact is most parents want the best for their children and always choose for them the good environment to develop in city, where they have a lot to learn.

TOEFL listening lectures: Which designer did not work at the Bauhaus?

Hi Voyager, I thought this essay was quite good. You have a good structure with a clear thesis and topic sentences. Your arguments are relevant and your examples are specific and convincing. Your grammar is not too bad, with only a few scattered errors. You do have some odd sounding phrases though, but your meaning is generall clear. Overall, I would rate this a 4 out of 5.