Please correct and rate my essay, thank you!! :)

[Chrissyyang]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for them to learn facts. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Students are always taught to learn ideas and concepts of everything first. I do agree it is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than facts. Because it is a logical problem, if you don’t know the idea and the reason that this artist draws the painting, you will not see the true meaning of that painting.

First, understand ideas and concepts before the facts can help students understand more about their studies. For example, before I went to watch a movie called “The Life of Pi”, I thought it tells only an adventure story of an Indian boy on the ocean. I watched a short film about the director explaining the concepts of this story before watching the movie such as, why he wants the sea to look like a dead sea, why he make the island look like a human figure, I realize there are more meanings in this movie. So, when I was watching the movie, I saw more details that the director wants to show to the audience.

Second, understand ideas and concepts can make facts more clear. It is always has ideas and concepts first and then has facts. If we want to create a sculpture, we always have to think what kind of sculpture we want to make. For example, a male or female sculpture, a standing or lying sculpture? What do we want to express? With these ideas, we can start making the sculpture. Before we do something we always need to have the right ideas and concepts first. It will be more useful if students can understand ideas and concepts rather than just the facts.

Although it seems that most of the time we learn a thing by see the fact. However, I believe we will learn more and gain more knowledge if we understand ideas and concepts. It is clear that knowing ideas and concepts is essential.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of Art History

[Luschen]

Hi, I thought this was a pretty good essay. You have a good structure, but your introduction was confusing to me. Why are you talking about painting? What is your main thesis statement? Your body paragraphs were better, with clear topic sentences and good examples that applied to the prompt. But you did have some errors in grammar and sentence construction that made a lot of your essay sound pretty unnatural. Overall, I would rate this a 3.5 out of 5

@Chrissyyang

[b]Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

It is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for them to learn facts. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.[/b]

Students are always taught to learn [the] ideas and concepts of [behind] {“of” is ok, but behind is better here} everything first. I do{“also” sounds better here} agree it is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than facts. Because it {what is “it” here? It is a little unclear to me} is a logical problem, if you don’t know the idea and the reason that this artist draws the painting, you will not see the true meaning of that painting.{this sounds rather abrupt? What painting are we talking about? This seems too specific for a good thesis statement}

First, understand[ing] ideas and concepts before[supporting] the facts can help students understand more about their studies. For example, before I went to watch a movie called “The Life of Pi”, I thought it tells{“told” sounds better here - or maybe “would tell”} only an adventure story of an Indian boy on the ocean. I watched a short film about the director explaining the concepts of this story before watching the movie {comma}such as,{no comma} why he wants the sea to look like a dead sea[and] why he make[s ] the island look like a human figure, I {new sentence} [This made me] realize there are more meanings in this movie. So, when I was watching the movie, I saw more details that the director wants{once again, “wanted” sounds better here to stay consistent in tense} to show to the audience.

Second, understand[ing] ideas and concepts can make facts more clear. It is always has ideas and concepts first and then has facts.{this sentence is very odd and unclear} If we want to create a sculpture, we always have to think [about] what kind of sculpture we want to make. For example, a male or female sculpture, a standing or lying{“reclining” is better} sculpture? What do we want to express? With these ideas, we can start making the sculpture. Before we do something we always need to have the right ideas and concepts first. It will be more useful if students can understand ideas and concepts rather than just the facts. {I am not sure how much sculpture applies to academic knowledge, which the prompt seems focussed on}

Although it seems that most of the time we learn a [new] thing by see[ing] the fact[s ] {this was not a complete sentence} . However, I believe we will learn more and gain more knowledge if we understand ideas and concepts. It is clear that knowing ideas and concepts is essential.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of Art History