Please correct and check my essay. Thank you so much! :)

Some people prefer to play team sports, while others prefer to play individual sports. Discuss the advantages of each. Then indicate which you prefer and why.

Sports can be divided into two different patterns. First one is team sports, such as basketball and baseball. The other one is individual sports like tennis and golf. Even though individual sports is not really individual because there is a training team working with a sports player. However, when in games, these players are playing individually. Each kind of sports has its own pros and cons. In my point of view, I prefer to play in a team.

To begin with, one of the advantages of playing a team sports is that there are always teammates to watch your back, which means you are not alone. For example, if you are the pitcher of a baseball team, sometimes you may not pitch well and make the other team get numerous chances to hit good balls and get points. Since baseball is a team sport, players of your team can try to achieve more points from the other team and make up what you have lost. In a team sport, you have teammates who can help you when you are not in shape.

On the other hand, in the individual sport, you are responsible for the game. You can play it as your way and you do not need to make it up for teammates. Also, when you win the game, you can take all the glory. For example, tennis is an individual game. In a tennis game, you in charge everything such as the way you serve and return balls. You can make your own decision, which is the best for the game you play. If you win the game, the best part is all the prize is for yourself.

Even though most people seem to like to play individually, I think it is better for me to play in a team because I prefer not to play alone. I like to communicate with others and make strategies with teammates while playing. Also, winning a game and celebrating the glory with teammates is more interesting.

TOEFL listening discussions: Why are these young men in conversation?

Hello Chrissyyang!
It is difficult for me to correct your essay, because my English is not as good as yours.
But, I am just going to say my understanding, that it looks very good and the issue that you have comiled about is valuble.

wish you more success in your life.
Asif

Hi Chrissy, I really liked this essay too. You have a clear structure with good arguments. You have answered the prompt well. You don’t have too many grammatical errors, but you do have a lot of odd sounding or unnatural phrases. Some necessary words are missing and in other places you have not chosen the most appropriate word. Overall, I would rate this a 3.5 out of 5.

Hi Luschen, thanks for correcting it.

The “make it up” in the third paragraph, I meant, sometimes your teammates make mistake and you will need to help to make up (fetch up?) scores your team lost.
Can I use “award money” instead of “prize”? I wanted to talk about the money you get when you win the game.

Since I agree with your comment that team sports are more popular, I rewrite the last paragraph. :stuck_out_tongue:

Although playing individually can get all the accolades, I prefer to play in a team. Since I like to communicate with others and make strategies with teammates while playing, I think it is better for me to play team sports. Also, winning a game and celebrating the glory {ha, you used my idea already! so before you could use “all the accolades are for yourself”} with teammates is more interesting.

Does it sound better? :slight_smile:
P.S. I have another essay waiting to be corrected, please check it when you are available. Thank you so much!
Here is it→ english-test.net/forum/ftopi … _thank_you

Hi, “make up for the poor play of your teammates” is more clear I think.

Now that I know what you mean, I would say “prize money”.

Your conclusion is very good - only a few changes I would make.

Although [by] playing individually [one] can get all the accolades, I prefer to play in[on] a team. Since I like to communicate with others and make strategies with teammates while playing, I think it is better for me to play team sports. Also, winning a game and celebrating the glory with teammates is more interesting.