PLEASE CHECK MY ESSAY

TOPIC:
If you could study a subject that you have never had the opportunity to study, what would you choose? Explain your choice, using specific reasons and details.

If ever got a chance to study a subject that I never had the opportunity to study, I would choose medicine (MBBS). Medicine was the subject of which I always dreamt for since I was a child. Doctor is an esteem profession of the society. Like most of the kids who want to become a doctor in their childhood, I was one among them having the craze for this profession.
One of the most important reasons to choose medicine as a subject to study as I never got a chance to study it in my life is my mother’s dream. It was a dream of my mother that out of her four children, elder three become doctors in the future. My two sibilians fulfill my mother’s dream and she is proud of them. When it was my turn to pass the entrance test for admission in one of the medical colleges of the state, I failed to bring my name in the merit list of succeeded students. Unfortunately, I missed this chance just by few marks. Whenever, I recall that worst time of my life so far, I feel very bad for my mother as I consider myself guilty of not fulfilling my mother’s dream. If I ever get a chance to start my student life once again, I would undoubtedly choose medicine subject by giving my one hundred an ten percent in the entrance test for sure, just for my mother.
Another reason of choosing medicine as a subject is to save mankind and humanity. I know that I can save both of them by working in my own field right now. But, in medical profession, chances are much more than my own field – chemistry. Now adays, doctors are not serious toward their jobs. They are just making money from their profession and playing with the lives of patients. For example, every day I heard on television, patients died due to ignorance of doctors. Not only on television, but, a woman in our neighborhood also died because of the doctor who operated her, left scissor in her stomach during operation. If I ever got a chance to become a doctor, I will show to non-serious doctors how to become a loyal doctor.
In the end, although, I am satisfied with what I am doing right now, I am serving mankind honestly with full integrity by providing them cheap and effective medicines. However, if I ever got a chance to study medicine in my life, I don’t want to lose it because it was the dream of my mother to become a doctor and save humanity.

please evaluate my essay and figure out my mistakes. What score you will give me out of 30.

TOEFL listening discussions: Why must the young woman leave?