Instructor said: Great details, but some of your sentences are a little off. I see a few examples of words missing like “the”. I am not going to tell you where these are just yet. I want you to take a close look and see if you can find them yourself.
The first line of the piece is also very problematic. You have not punctuated your date correctly. I would find a way to re-write it.
Born in Charleston, South Carolina April 2, 1990 came into this world. My Dad at the time was in the Navy stationed in Scotland, and my Scottish hardworking Mother raised me. Meeting new people and living in different countries helped me grow as a person. Growing up in Scotland and I went to many soccer games at Ibrox. I really enjoyed going to these games but to these people in Scotland the games mean much more to them. Religion plays a big part over there on who to follow. I grew up supporting the Glasgow Rangers which are Protestant and their rivals are Celtic which is Catholic team. When the two teams play each other they call it the “Old Firm”. I got to see one of these games live and I will never forget it. Fans segregated by nets in the stadium, and Transportation to get to the stadium is the same way. The fans get chaotic during the games so they try to keep them isolated from each other.
When I turned ten years old my Dad got orders to come to Georgia.
Starting school and not knowing anyone frightened me at the time, but soon enough I settled in over time. I liked playing sports growing up mainly soccer. Before I knew it graduation came quicker than I had anticipated. A young teenage boy nervous and lonely headed to college with all my belongings in my car heading for college. I would be attending college on a soccer scholarship. While there I learned many things about myself.
Before I knew it my future wife became pregnant with my wonderful son James. College life as I knew it came to an early end. I would have to go out into the real world and look for a job. Soon I was out working in the field with my hands as an Electrician. The work tiring at times but became rewarding and started to pay off. Moving up in the ranks and getting my own personal van, and I showed imitative and took responsibility then became a supervisor. Then the opportunity arose for civil service job. So I jumped at the opportunity to join. My other job could not compete with the benefits and pay. I hope this furthers my education to progress towards a degree in my near future.
TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a life sciences class (3)