Please check my essay, thanks so much. ^^

A person you know is planning to move to your city. What do you think this person would like or dislike about living in your town or city. Why?
When hearing that one of my friends will move to my city, I immediately have the image of him walking on my city’s road. He might have the love and hate relationship with this place. The city’s ancient and modern beauty would attract him but he will be less disappointed with pollution.
My city is surely a charming place that appeals anyone because of its archaic beauty. It has been the political, cultural and economic center for centuries. Therefore, its attraction lies inside of the aged construction like castles, temples and bridges. There are ancient streets with many hundred – year-old houses and narrow long lanes. In the outskirt of the city, a lot of tall, old trees stand along some roads and fall their dark shadow into the ground. This creates such a poetic scene. All of those things make my city become a unique and attractive place for anyone to live.
Moreover, my friend could not deny the modern appeal of my city. Its citizen’s lifestyle is typical in big cities. Goods are always available and services are served twenty four hours a day. There are also many restaurants, entertainment centers which help us to release stress after a long day. We can find easily some libraries, hospitals, schools or learning language centers. All those things are suited for busy people. Living in such a modern city like mine, my friend could feel comfortable and happy.
Unfortunately, my city also has its backward. Because of industrialization and modernization, the city has been damaged by pollution. My friend might feel a little dizzy while walking along a seriously polluted river in my city. The water turns into the dark color and no creatures can survive. The atmosphere is full of dirty smokes from traffic transports or factories. Plus, there are so many huge trash dumps in this city that people have no way to solve. This situation has become worse and worse by every single day.
Although my city is not the absolutely perfect place to live, my friend still might love it because its advantages beyond its disadvantages. If the authority solves the pollution problem, everyone who moves to here will never want to leave.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a life sciences class (2)

Hi Bigbabu, welcome to the forum. I thought your essay was pretty good. You have a good structure, but I think you might want to add to your thesis the fact that your city has modern conveniences. You have good examples and I like your descriptive language describing your city. You do have quite a few sentence construction errors and incorrect word choices, which make parts of your essay sound awkward and unnatural. But still, your ideas are clear to me. Overall, I would rate this a 3.5 out of 5.

Thank you so much, Mr Luschen. Your comment is so useful for me ^^