Please check my essay, thank you.

[Tyyna]

Should government spend more money on improving roads and highways, or should government spend more money on improving public transportation (buses, trains, subways)? Why?
In my opinion government should spend more money on improving public transportation, rather than spend more money on improving roads and highways. And there are several explanations in conformation of that.

First reason is congestion on the roads. It seems that every day there are more cars on the roads than there was yesterday. And it is unbelievable how many hours we are spending traveling to work or to school and back home sitting in traffic. And if you would take a look at how many people sitting in each car, usually it is only one person, whereas public transportation can carry many people at the same time.

Another reason is pollution. While there are many new car models that can use electricity or both gas and electricity that would decrease pollution, the main choice of a regular consumer a car that can use only gas.

Government trying to improve situation by building free parking lots, where people, that should drive some distance to public transport, can park their cars and travel further on the bus or subway. Although, on some highways there are special lanes for buses or cars with two or more passengers or discount toll programs for these who are using a car-pool.

I think, many people will be glad to use public transportation, but it is not that simple and not always convenient. For example, my husband can’t take a train or bus to go to work, because it will take him about two and a half hour just to go in one end while by care it will be only forty minutes.

By making connections between different parts of big cities better, government will give people opportunity to use public transportation more. As a result, congestion on the road will lessen and quality of the roads will improve, as fewer cars will be on the roads.

TOEFL listening lectures: How would the professor most probably categorize Shinto?

[Luschen]

Hi, your writing is ok, but you were not always focused on the topic and your viewpoint. Every sentence should emphasize the benefits of government spending on public transportation, if that is your choice. I added some sentences and rearranged some of your sentences to emphasize this point. Do my changes make sense to you? Also, make sure to use transitions to start your paragraphs and the first sentence of each paragraph should be a topic sentence that gives a specific reason that supports your argument. Then talk about that reason and that reason alone in your paragraph. Then move on to the next paragraph for your next reason.

@Tyyna

Should government spend more money on improving roads and highways, or should government spend more money on improving public transportation (buses, trains, subways)? Why?
In my opinion[, the] government should spend more money on improving public transportation, rather than spend more money on improving roads and highways. And there are several explanations in conformation of that.

First reason[, there] is congestion on the roads. It seems that every day there are more cars on the roads than there was[were] yesterday. And it is unbelievable how many hours we are spending traveling to work or to school and back home sitting in traffic. And {we usually do not begin sentences with conjunctions} if you would take a look at how many people [are] sitting in each car, usually it is only one person, whereas public transportation can carry many people at the same time.

Another reason [for concentrating on public transportation] is pollution. While there are many new car models that can use electricity or both gas and electricity that would decrease pollution, the main choice of a regular consumer [is] a car that can use only gas. {Meanwhile, there are trolleys and subways that run on electricity, while some buses now operate on clean natural gas. Even with gasoline powered buses, a bus carrying 20 or 30 people has a lower “person-mile per gallon” rate than the most fuel-efficient car.]

[Furthermore, the] Government [can] trying to improve situation[the low rate of public transportation use] by building free parking lots, where people, that should drive some distance to public transport, can park their cars and travel further on the bus or subway. Although, on some highways there are special lanes for buses or cars with two or more passengers or discount toll programs for these who are using a car-pool. {this last sentence does not contribute to your thesis argument}

I think, many people will be glad to use public transportation, but it is not that simple and not always convenient. For example, my husband can’t take a train or bus to go to work, because it will take him about two and a half hour just to go in one end while by care it will be only forty minutes.

[Finally, ] By [spending money to] mak[e] connections between different parts of big cities better, government will give people [the] opportunity to use public transportation more, [reducing gasoline usage and helping the environment.] [I think, many people will be glad to use public transportation [as long as it is simple and convenient], but it is not that simple and not always convenient. For example, my husband can’t take a train or bus to go to work, because it will[would] take him about two and a half hour[s ] just to go in one end while by care it will be only forty minutes. [With additional investment in public transportation and better connections, this time could be reduced to be comparable or even less than the travel time by car.] As a result[byproduct of this increased efficiency], congestion on the road[s] will lessen and [the] quality of the roads will improve, as fewer cars will be on the roads. {you could leave out this sentence, it does not really fit in with the rest of the paragraph}

{Add a snappy conclusion paragraph here - “public transportation for all the public!”, “down with cars”, whatever}

TOEFL listening lectures: How would the professor most probably categorize Shinto?

[Tyyna]

Thank you very much!!
I like your version better ))
My main problem is time, because on a test day I will have only 20 min to compose something usable.
Take care!