Please Check. Essay: Why you would like to study in the United States.

[Luschen]

I don’t really know the requirements for a good UGRAD essay, but I would be happy to correct the grammatical mistakes in your writing.

@E...

I’m writing an essay for UGRAD application, please chek it.
Questions:
1 Please describe why you would like to study in the US. 2 What past experiences have given you this motivation? 3 How will studying on the Global UGRAD program help you learn about America? 4 How will learning about the U.S. influence your personal and professional goals for the future?

I believe that [the] American educational system is one of the strongest in the world. When I have attended “American Days” event, sponsored by US embassy, I’ve heard a lot of interesting feedbacks from the ones[those] who had already participated the IREX programs. And now I can surely say that I will get plenty of new experience[s ] and knowledge by applying to UGRAD. [the knowledge and experience would be from “winning a UGRAD position”, not from applying to UGRAD]
This summer and winter I was a student of “Leaders School” made[sponsored] by [the] US embassy and International Alert in Georgia and I was very pleased by the way how professionally everything was organised. I’ve received a mass[“a mass” sounds strange - try “an abundance”] of usefull [sp] information from [my experience] there and I think that I’m ready to get more of it!
The best way to learn about something is to experience it by[for] yourself. For example, I always was fond of autostop travelling [this term is not used in the U.S. - we would call it “hitchhiking”, but if this is sent to England it would be fine] and I thought that it will be very difficult to realise[accomplish] it in Azerbaijan, till I made an autostop trip from Tbilisi to Baku with my friend. That was an amazing journey. And now I’m looking forward to when my american [capitalize] journey will begin.
I’m[I have been] working for the Society for Humanitarian Research (SHR) for couple[“several” or “a couple of”] years and I think that learning sociology will be very useful for me. I’ll be able to compare our societies and find out what do we need to change in our mentality to reach that kind of democratic and free minded community as[that] americans[capitalize] have.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a student and a university advisor