please check and rate my TOEFL essay

Topic : It is better to grow up with siblings than without. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

Now a day, most of parents plans that they might have only one child for their life and thinks their future to grow up his/her life. There are many advantages to live without sibling like getting privacy, have no jealous time with brother or sister. However, in my opinion, it is better to grow up with sibling for various reasons. You can talk and enjoy with them at any time. Also they can suggest you, help you and learn from them.
First of all, if we are grow up with sibling, there are many opportunity to learn from our elder brother or sister. For example, when I was a child, I grew up with my elder brother. He was mistook in several thing like drawing, puzzle solving etc.; I got chance from him and remember its mistakes, so that I did it very carefully. Moreover, If we are elder then we might have chance to teach our brother or sister for education related topics.
In addition to that, growing with sibling, they can suggest you. However, living without sibling you have to do yourself. You can take advice from your parents but parents is not become your friends. On the other hand, sibling become your best friends and suggest what right way for you. For instance, I have some private problem. My all of best friends know about it, but any of my family member do not know about it, so if you have brother or sister you have to tell them and they keep secret from parents and help you to overcome this situation too.
Finally, living with brother or sister, you can talk, fight and enjoy with them. As living without them, you cannot enjoy yourself or say you have to enjoy with your friends but not every moment of your life. On the other hand, at any time, we can talk and enjoy with them. For example, when I was disturb and not sleep at late night, I wake up my younger sister and talk with them. After talking with her, I feel relaxed and both enjoy every moment of our life.
In conclusion, growing with sibling, brother or sister help you and suggest you in your any of situations. you can learn from that and enjoy with them.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the lecturer mention Charles Darwin?

Hi, your essay is pretty good. You have an effective structure and have addressed the prompt correctly. You have some very vivid and personal examples that are very persuasive, though maybe you exaggerate the benefits at some point - I don’t think having a sibling can guarantee you a 100% happy and stress-free life. You do have quite a bit of repetition in your words and phrases. You have some word choice errors and some mistakes in choosing the correct prepositions. You also have a few sentences that sound awkward and unnatural. Overall, I would rate this a 3.5 out of 5.

Thank you Luschen,
Its really hard for me to think advantages of having sibling. So its really worst essay for me!!

My three sons might agree with you - but when they are grown-up, they will appreciate each other more!

Hi Angiee, please note the difference between “its” and “it’s”. Your sentence should read “It’s really hard for me to think of the advantages of having siblings/having a sibling. So it’s really the worst essay I’ve written so far.”[YSaerTTEW443543]

TOEIC short conversations: Assessing bids[YSaerTTEW443543]

Thank you Torsten for correcting my sentences.