please check and correct my Toefl® essay.Thank you very much

[Xiaomoguniuniu]

I appreciate it that you spend time checking my writing for me and score it. Thank you so much!!

It is better to take a trip by oneself than to take a group tour with guidance.

The ancient Roman thinker, St.Augustine once said.,the world is a book and those who do not travel read only a page.According to a research,many people take a trip by themselves is more popular than those who take a group tour with guidance,which is espically common among the young.The experience can not only improve self-contained,but aslo provide self-involvement
To begin with,before traveling,people must prepare for everything in advance.Such as,palnning the entire itineraries,booking tickets and hotels,packing up and so on,which will enhance their independent ability.For example,my roomate in the university,Lily, has been many palces in China alone.Every time she planned to go someplace,she needed about a month for preparation ahead of time.The first step was to book train tickets after confirming the day that she set out.Then,she reserved a hotel.In most time,she would choose the Youth Hostels,which is a hotel specially offered for back-packages.And,the last thing was establish schedule for her destination.Once she told me that a lot of unexpected circumatances would occoured on the way even though she made the paln perfectly.She did not know how to solve them first,but she could handle more easily after several trips,even new problems happended.It is a good chance to raise self-capacity through taking a trip alone.
Moerover,people will find out that a trip by themselves will be more free.If you enjoy a beautiful scenery,you can stay for a while or take a photo as long as you want.However,the probability is small enough if you choose a group tour,because the guide will hasten your going. Last year,I went to Yunnan alone,which is a province of China.I chose two famous cities of Yunnan,one is called “Spring City”,Kunming,the other is Dali Old Town.I just selected the scenery spots where I was interested in,so I could take my time to know about the history,take some photos and communicate with the local residents.In fact, I had intended to stay in Dali for two days,but I loved it and felt enjoyable in the Old Town ,then,I decided to stay for two more days.It is nearly impossible that we can change the days and the itineraries at will with the group tour.
As the saying goes“The landscape belongs to the man who looks at it”.Only by once trying,people will find it is more interesting to schedule a trip by themselves.They will find more beautiful views and get more konwledge,happiness and confidence through a trip.

TOEFL listening discussions: How does Dr Beech characterize the assistantship?

[Luschen]

How about this - if you reformat your essay by adding a space after each period and comma, I will check it for you - deal?

[Xiaomoguniuniu]

How about this - if you reformat your essay by adding a space after each period and comma, I will check it for you - deal?

Thank you for your advice, I will pay more attention to my reformat.

[Xiaomoguniuniu]

It is better to take a trip by oneself than to take a group tour with guidance.

The ancient Roman thinker, St.Augustine once said, the world is a book and those who do not travel read only a page. According to a research,many people take a trip by themselves is more popular than those who take a group tour with guidance, which is espically common among the young.The experience can not only improve self-contained, but aslo provide self-involvement.

To begin with, before traveling, people must prepare for everything in advance. Such as, palnning the entire itineraries, booking tickets and hotels, packing up and so on, which will enhance their independent ability. For example, my roomate in the university, Lily, has been many palces in China alone. Every time she planned to go someplace, she needed about a month for preparation ahead of time. The first step was to book train tickets after confirming the day that she set out. Then, she reserved a hotel. In most time, she would choose the Youth Hostels, which is a hotel specially offered for back-packages. And the last thing was establish schedule for her destination. Once she told me that a lot of unexpected circumatances would occoured on the way even though she made the paln perfectly. She did not know how to solve them first, but she could handle more easily after several trips, even new problems happended. It is a good chance to raise self-capacity through taking a trip alone.

Moerover, people will find out that a trip by themselves will be more free. If you enjoy a beautiful scenery, you can stay for a while or take a photo as long as you want. However, the probability is small enough if you choose a group tour, because the guide will hasten your going. Last year, I went to Yunnan alone, which is a province of China. I chose two famous cities of Yunnan, one is called “Spring City”, Kunming, the other is Dali Old Town. I just selected the scenery spots where I was interested in, so I could take my time to know about the history, take some photographies and communicate with the local residents. In fact, I had intended to stay in Dali for two days, but I loved it and felt enjoyable in the Old Town, then, I decided to stay for two more days. It is nearly impossible that we can change the days and the itineraries at will with the group tour.

As the saying goes, The landscape belongs to the man who looks at it. Only by once trying, people will find it is more interesting to schedule a trip by themselves. They will find more beautiful views and get more konwledge, happiness and confidence through a trip.

Thank you for your help!:）

[Luschen]

Hi, I thought your essay was very good. It sounds like you have had some interesting travels. Your structure is very clear and you have addressed the prompt with relevant examples. You do have quite a few grammatical errors though, along with some poorly chosen words and a lot of misspelled words. Overall, I would rate this a 4 out of 5.

It is better to take a trip by oneself than to take a group tour with guidance.

The ancient Roman thinker, St.[ ]Augustine once said, {use direct quotes here or “Augustine once said that the world …”} the world is a book and those who do not travel read only a page. According to a research,many people tak[ing] a trip by themselves is more popular than those who take a group tour with guidance,{“with a guide” is better here} which is espically common among the young.{this implies that the group tours are especially common among the young, but I don’t think that is what you mean} The experience can not only improve self-contained,{do you mean “self-control”? this is unclear} but aslo{sp} provide self-involvement.{“self-involvement” is not clear to me either}

To begin with, before traveling, people must prepare for everything in advance.{comma} {this topic sentence is not that good - you should introduce a reason supporting your thesis and make sure it refers back to the prompt} Such as, palnning{spelling} the entire itinerar[y ], booking tickets and hotels, packing up and so on, which will enhance their [self-reliance] independent ability. For example, my room[m]ate in the university, Lily, has been many palces{sp} in China alone.{this sounds like she had been many places in China, not to mention the places in other countries she had gone to - say “… China by herself” or “on her own”} Every time she planned to go someplace, she needed about a month for preparation ahead of time. The first step was to book train tickets after confirming the day that she [was to] set out. Then, she reserved a hotel. In most time[s ], she would choose the Youth Hostels, which is a [are] hotel[s ] specially offered for back-packages[back-packers]. And {avoid beginning sentences with conjunctions} the last thing was [to] establish [a] schedule for [once she reached] her destination. Once she told me that a lot of unexpected circumatances{sp} would occoured[occur] on the way even though she made the paln[plan] perfectly. She did not know how to solve them [at] first, but she could handle [these challenges] more easily after several trips, even [thought] new problems happended.{sp} It is a good chance to raise [one’s] self-capacity through taking a trip alone.

Moerover,{sp} people will find out that a trip by themselves will [allow more freedom]be more free. If you enjoy a beautiful scenery, you can stay for a while or take a photo as long as you want. However, th[is] probability is small enough if you choose a group tour, because the guide will hasten your {“departure” is better} going.{this sentence still sounds a little unnatural} Last year, I went to Yunnan alone, which is a province of China. I chose two famous cities of Yunnan, one is called “Spring City”, Kunming, the other is Dali Old Town. I just selected the scen[ic] spots where[that] I was interested in, so I could take my time to know[learn] about the history, take some photograph[s ] and communicate with the local residents. In fact, I had intended to stay in Dali for two days, but I loved it and felt enjoyable {you can’t “feel enjoyable” - an activity is enjoyable - maybe {and I enjoyed myself in the Old Town"} in the Old Town, then[so], I decided to stay for two more days. It is nearly impossible that [I could have changed] we can change the days and the itineraries at will with the group tour.

As the saying goes, The landscape belongs to the man who looks at it. {I like this saying - I have never heard it before} Only by once trying, [will] people will find it is more interesting to schedule a trip by themselves. They will find more beautiful views and get more konwledge, happiness and confidence through a [solo] trip.

Thank you for your help!:）

[Xiaomoguniuniu]

Please correct and rate my revised essay, Luschen, thank you

Augustine once said that the world is a book and those who do not travel read only a page. According to research, people taking a trip by themselves is more popular，which is espically common among the young than those who take a group tour with a guide. The experience can not only improve independence but also enjoy oneslef.

To begin with, it is a good chance to raise one’s self-capacity through taking a trip alone. Before traveling, people must prepare for everything in advance, such as, palning the entire itinerary, booking tickets and hotels, packing up and so on, which will enhance their self-reliance. For example, my roommate in the university, Lily, has been many countries in China on her own. Every time she planned to go someplace, she needed about a month for preparation ahead of time. The first step was to book train tickets after confirming the day that she was to set out. Then, she reserved a hotel. most times , she would choose the Youth Hostels, which are hotels specially offered for back-packers.The last thing was to establish a schedule for once she reached her destination. Once she told me that a lot of unexpected circumstances would occur on the way even though she made plans perfectly. She did not know how to solve them at first, but she could handle these challenges more easily after several trips, even though new problems appeared.

Moreover, people will find out that a trip by themselves will allow more freedom. If you enjoy beautiful scenery, you can stay for a while or take a photo as long as you want.
However, this probability is smaller if you choose a group tour, because the guide will urge you to leave. Last year, I went to Yunnan alone, which is a province of China. I chose two famous cities of Yunnan, one is called “Spring City”, Kunming, the other is Dali Old Town. I just selected the scenic spots that I was interested in, so I could take my time to learn about the history, take some photographs and communicate with the local residents. In fact, I had intended to stay in Dali for two days, but I loved it and I enjoyed myself in the Old Town, so, I decided to stay for two more days. It is nearly impossible that I could have changed the days and the itineraries at will with the group tour.

The landscape belongs to the man who looks at it. Only by once trying, will people find it is more interesting to schedule a trip by themselves. They will find more beautiful views and get more konwledge, happiness and confidence through a solo trip.

[Luschen]

Hi, I think this essay is a big improvement. Probably still a few too many errors for a 5, but definitely a 4.5 out of 5.

Please correct and rate my revised essay, Luschen, thank you

{sorry, I didn’t mean you had to delete “The ancient Roman thinker, St. Augustine” - though if you just say “St. Augustine”, everyone will know who you are talking about and it is true that St. Augustine was not really an “ancient Roman”} Augustine once said that the world is a book and those who do not travel read only a page. According to research, people taking a trip by themselves is more popular，which is espically [especially] common among the young than those who take a group tour with a guide. The experience can not only improve independence but also enjoy [lets one enjoy himself] oneslef.{or “but also gives one enjoyment”}

To begin with, it is a good chance to raise one’s self-capacity[self-sufficiency] through taking a trip alone. Before traveling, people must prepare for everything in advance, such as,{no comma} palning[planning] the entire itinerary, booking tickets and hotels, packing up and so on, which will enhance their self-reliance. For example, my roommate in the university, Lily, has been [to] many countries[provinces] in China on her own. Every time she planned to go someplace, she needed about a month for preparation ahead of time. The first step was to book train tickets after confirming the day that she was to set out. Then, she reserved{“would reserve” is better} a hotel. most times , she would choose the Youth Hostels, which are hotels specially offered for back-packers.The last thing was to establish a schedule for once she reached her destination. Once she told me that a lot of unexpected circumstances would occur on the way even though she [had] made [her] plans perfectly. She did not know how to solve them at first, but she could handle these challenges more easily after several trips, even though new problems appeared.

Moreover, people will find out that a trip by themselves will allow more freedom. If you enjoy beautiful scenery, you can stay for a while or take a photo as long {“takes as many photos as you want” or “spend as much time taking photos as you want”} as you want.
However, this probability is smaller if you choose a group tour, because the guide will urge you to leave. Last year, I went to Yunnan alone, which is a province of China. I chose two famous cities of Yunnan, one is called “Spring City”, Kunming, the other is Dali Old Town. I just selected [just] the scenic spots that I was interested in, so I could take my time to learn about the history, take some photographs and communicate with the local residents. In fact, I had intended to stay in Dali for two days, but I loved it and I enjoyed myself in the Old Town, so, I decided to stay for two more days. It is nearly impossible that I could have changed the days and the itineraries at will with the group tour.

[It is said that] The landscape belongs to the man who looks at it. Only by once trying, will people find it is more interesting to schedule a trip by themselves. They will find more beautiful views and get more konwledge[knowledge], happiness and confidence through a solo trip.