Play games or not?

Good afternoon! if you have time, please, check my essay

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Games are as important for adults as they are for children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
What is our life? It is a game from different points of view: we play roles in order to be successful and to be loved and respected. Our society is competitive and cruel, and some people have found their key to success- they play and pretend as much as they can. But not such a game is necessary for adults. This game does not bring relax, otherwise makes you nervous about forgetting of your role.
In order not to become crazy you need sometimes to play games how children do it. Of course it is too late to play dolls but an evening in the company of your friends with a nice table game can be very pleasant and remind about happy childhood when there were no problems concerning work and family. There are a lot of games when you need to imitate an animal or a funny person, and in this case you have a great opportunity to express yourself, to do things freely like in the childhood. You are free from the limits of the office now! Moreover during these games you can forget for some time about competition of our society and just be yourself.
For instance, my parents like to play different games both indoor and outdoor. I think that is one of the main reason why we have such strong relationships inside the family. Playing games makes our free time more interesting but the most important benefit is that children can see their parents from new sides. Imitating a Superman the father can really become a superman for his young son. The same is with your colleagues and even teachers who playing games can become completely different from their everyday style.
All in all I am pretty sure that playing games is like possessing a time machine: any time you can come back to the most carefree and happiest period of your life-the childhood.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture by a professor of Archeology

Good afternoon! if you have time, please, check my essay

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Games are as important for adults as they are for children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

What is our life? It is a game from different points of view: we play roles in order to be successful and to be loved and respected. Our society is competitive and cruel, and some people have found their key to success- they play and pretend as much as they can. But such gameS ARE NOT necessary for adults. This game does not bring relaxATION. ON THE CONTRARY, IT makes you nervous about forgetting of your role.
In order not to become crazy you need sometimes to play games how children do.

Of course it is too late to play WITH dolls, but an evening in the company of your friends, with a nice table game can be very pleasant and IT WILL remind US about OUR happy childhood, when there were no problems concerning work and family.
There are a lot of games WHERE you need to imitate an animal or a funny person, and in this case you have a great opportunity to express yourself, to do things freely like in YOUR childhood. You are free from the limits of the office now! Moreover during these games you can forget for some time about competition of our society and just be yourself.
For instance, my parents like to play different games both indoorS and outdoorS. I think that is one of the main reason why we have such strong relationships inside the family. Playing games makes our free time more interesting but the most important benefit is that children can see their parents from new ANGLES. Imitating a Superman the father can really become a superman for his young son. The same is with your colleagues and even teachers who WHEN playing games can become completely different from their everyday style.
All in all I am pretty sure that playing games is like possessing a time machine:
(anytime) you can come back to the most carefree and happiest period of your life-the childhood.
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An unexpectedly refreshing essay Ailana. Thank you.

Kitos. 9/10

Thank you for your time and work. i will analyse all your corrections and next time will try to improve my work!