Pets in yours family! Evaluate this essay for me, many tks.-To Luschen.

Topic: Should pets be accepted as family members?
A question has been raised on whether pets should be treated as family members. The importance of pets has been proved throughout the centuries, since Ancient Greek, pets had lived along with people, the evidence provided from archeologists that dogs and cats bones are found near the burial sites of human. Personally, I totally agree with the statement that pets should be accepted as family members as the reasons below.
The main reason is that having pets is beneficial for all children, adults or even elderly people. As for children, they always need someone to play with or to take care of when their parents are not at home, using pets is an useful way to solve the problem. Besides, having pets are also good for adults, especially for those working under pressure. Imagine yourself, coming back home after all day long in the office, all you want to do is just relaxing and someone to express your irritation, more or less; pets can help you to have a better mood. Moreover, elder people are those who need pets most. Pets could be a friend of them, lessening the loneliness when their children leave home for their new lives. One way of reducing stress for adults or loneliness for old people is to feed the pets and go for a walk with them. Studies had showed that among old people, those living with their pets are more likely to live longer lives than those who do not. As clearly seen, pets actually bestow many benefits upon their owners.
In addition, such pets are dogs and cats might be helpful in protecting your houses from robbery or some types of rodents. Dogs are said to be the best caretakers, they bark at stranger and wave their tails at known people. This enables the families be aware of the dangers and guard themselves against any risks. Cats also help people protecting their houses by catching mice, rats and that keeps the houses clean.
Last but not least, as far as I am concerned, in many countries, pets like dogs, cats, or even rabits are caught for food. Accepting the pets as family members is a way to protect them from being caught and therefore may lead them to the edge of being extinction.
To sum up, I would like to point out that pets are not only good servants of human but also truthful friends. They deserved being a part of human families.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a professor and a university student in the professor’s office

Hi Duongandy, I think your writing is very good, but I am not sure your essay directly addressed the prompt. The prompt is focussed on pets as family members, but your essay is mainly focussed on how pets are useful. In fact, parts of your essay seem to consider pets as working animals rather than close family members. I am not sure how this would affect your rating though. Your writing itself is very good with only a few grammatical mistakes, incorrect expressions, and incorrect prepositions.