People, who are pushy

Two weeks ago it happened to me that a young guy were ordered to help me dressing a machine into insulating walls. This young guy didn?t like his task and behaved insufferable from the early morning to the late afternoon. He never found a good word, his face had an unsatisfied expression and he wasn?t helpful. I wondered why that was. I asked him about his feeling, he gave the answer that everything were O.K. and he didn?t follow my instructions. Not only that, he defended against my advice and did what he wanted to do. So I let him do what he wanted to do and everything went wrong. I think he didn?t believe that I?m a proficient mechanist (just that), although I?m in the age of 47 and he was 22. I think not only my age were important to reach the goal our employer set for us, but also the proficiency. For example, he complained that he would like to weld and he were a proficient welder, in his opinion! So I requested him to weld with an WIG-welding machine. He tried and was needed to admit that he can?t weld with that machine. I tried to explain that to him and he didn?t want to know what I told him! You can rely on me when I say that I tried to be carefully with me explanation. How do you think you could reach that anybody like that young man listen to you, not only to make you a favour but to have a favour from that his own?

Or do you think that I?m pushy, to give him good advice?


Hi Michael

There is no way (to impose good advice :slight_smile: ) - unless someone is not ready to listen to you, to acknowledge your superiority in something (competency, wisdom, etc)
to treat you as a significant person for him/her and trust you enough (= have enduring faith that you don’t destroy his/her ego while teaching).

My own experience tells that only proficiency & wishes to put somebody right (for example, my teen-age children :slight_smile: ) is not enough. Even though you are ready to take the lion’s share of responsibility for the results :slight_smile:

Many times in my life I was forced to deal with, sometimes sad or annoying, results of thoughtless actions and immature decisions of other people who refused to listen to good advice (mine :slight_smile: or someone’s else). Facing with their great aplomb - before and seeing ‘hiding eyes’ - after.
Many times I myself did the same :slight_smile: :wink:

This taught me :slight_smile: that:

  1. I can’t - and never will be able! - to control and ‘to put right’ the life and all people around me. And it’s entirely my own problem how to deal with my own annoyance because of that.

  2. Learning is very individual and very… intimate process, and we, people, are very selective in it.
    Not every excellent teacher (or just wise and experienced person) can become a good teacher for everyone, and each of us has full rights to choose teachers for ourselves - to learn from - or just to choose learning by trials (and many people prefer to get own experience by cut-and-try approach albeit it could be painful and uncomfortable for them and for other people).