People succeed because of hard work.Luck has nothing to do with success

“When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success.” Do you agree or disagree with the quotation above? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your position.

I would agree at some extend with the quotation mentioned above due to some reasons discussed below:

Firstly, I would say that one should work hard to reach their destination but at times luck also works. There are many situation were luck has a great importance. People can combine day and night to achieve their desired goals but eventually some of them only succeed in life because of their luck. Unless and until luck favors you cannot achieve your goals. I would say that luck is the second stage to succeed in life.

Moreover, I agree that hard work is necessary in life. Hard work is most important and essential stage to succeed in life. People work hard to gain something in life. Starting from a small child to an adult people, everybody has to work hard to gain his/her desired thing. Teenagers need to work hard to score good marks in exam. They need to work hard to get recruitment in a company. They need to emphasize on their goals until thy goal their achieved, because nothing can be conquered without hard work.

Further, a famous quote: “Luck favors those who work hard,” elaborates that one should concentrate on their goals and luck will automatically favors them. Moreover, there are very few cases where people do not need luck to succeed but there are also very some cases where people succeed without much hard work.

In summation, so due to this many reasons I would partially agree with the statement and believe that luck has to do with success.

Plz guide me where i am wrong.
Thank You

TOEFL listening discussions: What will the student probably do with her next paper?

Here is my try.

I would agree at some extend with the quotation mentioned above due to some reasons discussed below:

Firstly, I would say that one should work hard to reach their destination (but at times luck also works). There are many situationS THAT luck has a great importance. People EVEN SPEND/DEVOTE/DEDICATE day and night to achieve their desired goals but eventually some of them only succeed in life because of their luck. Unless and until luck favors, you cannot achieve your goals. I would say that luck is the second ELEMENT/ CONTRIBUTION FOR US to succeed in life.( What is the most important one? You did not mention above)

Moreover, I agree that hard work is necessary in life. Hard work is THE most important and essential (stage) to succeed in life.( Same sentence previously). People work hard to gain something in life. Starting from a small child to an adult people, everybody has to work hard to gain his/her desired thing. Teenagers need to work hard to score good marks in exam. They need to work hard to get recruitment in a company. They need to emphasize on their goals until thy goal their achieved, because nothing can be conquered without hard work.

Further, a famous quote: “Luck favors those who work hard,” elaborates that one should concentrate on their goals and luck will automatically favors them. Moreover, there are very few cases where people do not need luck to succeed but there are also very some cases where people succeed without much hard work.

In summation, so due to this many reasons I would partially agree with the statement and believe that luck has to do with success.

This essay requires you to solely agree or disagree. You did not do that my friend, you must find reasons to support how luck affect the succession of people, not to analyze each one’s importance.
It is had better for you to re-write it, this is what i learned from my TOEFL teacher and also my own experience.
Thanks
Tri Truong

Thanks A lot Bxnl