people are now easier to become educated than in the past.(toefl writing)

[Cherrycong719]

people are now easier to become educated than in the past.

Never have the educational issues fail to arouse the public attention. Now there is a hot discussion about whether people are easier to get educated than in the past. From my point of view, the contemporary people are undoubtedly easier to be educated than before for the three major reasons.

In recent decades, more importance are attached to the education since people are undergoing the overwhelming competition pressure resulted from by the increasing population. Obviously, people have realized education does help seek to better themselves. To illustrate, at present adults are eager to strengthen the professional knowledge in their spare time for fear that they would be ruled out by the furious industrial competition; Teenagers sometimes squeeze out their entertainment time to do reading and writing in order to not lag behind others; Some of the seniors also choose to attend the old age college to enrich their lives. While things are completely different back to ten years ago. The major of people proffered to enjoy the sunshine with family to have a nice weekend rather than dipping into encouraging books.

Apart from the stronger internal motivation to getting well-educated, the advanced information technology also wide the channels to gain knowledge. For instance, the occurrence of the internet provides people with easy access to much more information, while in the past several years people were usually constrained to paper reading materials and less exposed to the outside world in the past several years. Let us suppose that a student is catching up with his experimental report. Only by clicking the button of several research engines, large amounts of needed academic resources would appear on the screen within several seconds, which save his time that would be unnecessarily wasted while searching for information in the library. Meanwhile, with the help of ipad, it is quite prevalent for office workers to skim the national events of the day on subways every morning, in the modern society. yet it is difficult to imagine that in the past.

Lastly, the relatively reduced economic cost of receiving education contributes a lot to this favorable change in education. On one hand, In the past, ordinary family could hardly afford to send all their children to get educated, as a result the major of children quitted the school early and went to do laborious field work especially in remote regions. However, the Recent survey revealed that the dropout rate decreased dramatically since the raid economic development in China. In other word, the paying for education is no longer a financial burden on ordinary family. On the other hand, the Chinese government also plays a crucial importance on boosting the educational development. As we can see, universal education has almost been made possible through the governmental efforts such as implementing the policy of compulsory education and establishing more high schools as well as expanding university enrollment.

Taking into the major three aspects into account, I agree with the viewpoint that the contemporary people are indeed easier to get well-educated than in the past.

TOEFL listening discussions: What are the two students doing?

[Luschen]

Hi, another good essay. I like your structure and your arguments. This is the third essay I have corrected based on this flawed prompt wording - “people are easier to become” is never correct - where did you get this from? I think this essay had a few more grammatical errors and poor word choices than your previous one. You also had some verb tenses which were not the best choices. Overall, I think I would rate it a 3.5 out of 5.

@Cherrycong719

people are now easier to become educated than in the past.

Never have the educational issues fail[ed] to arouse the public['s] attention. Now there is a hot{“an intense” sounds better to me} discussion about whether people are easier to get educated than in the past. {the prompt is flawed - it should be "it is easier for people to become educated than in the past} From my point of view, the contemporary people are undoubtedly [find it] easier to be[come] educated than before for the three major reasons.

In recent decades, more importance are[is] attached to the education[al process] since people are undergoing the overwhelming competiti[ve] pressure result[ing] from by the increasing population. Obviously, people have realized education does help [when] seek[ing] to better themselves. To illustrate, at present adults are eager to strengthen the[ir] professional knowledge in their spare time for fear that they would be ruled[squeezed] out by the furious industrial competition; Teenagers sometimes squeeze out[eliminate] {“squeeze out” is ok too,l but could possibly mean to make something last longer} their entertainment time to do reading and writing in order to not lag behind others; Some of the seniors also choose to attend the old age college {“old age college” is not an English term} to enrich their lives. {I would split these up into sentences instead of using semicolons - do not capitalize the word after semicolons} While things are[were] completely different back to ten years ago. {this is not a complete sentence} The major[ity] of people proffered[preferred] to enjoy the sunshine with [their] family [or] to[and] have a nice weekend rather than dipping into encouraging books.

Apart from the stronger internal motivation to getting{“becoming” sounds better here} well-educated, the advanced information technology also wide[ns] the channels [available] to gain knowledge. For instance, the occurrence[introduction] of the internet provides [has provided] people with easy access to much more information, while in[before] the past several years people were usually constrained to paper reading materials and less exposed to the outside world in the past several years. Let us suppose that a student is catching up with his experimental report.{“experimental report” is unclear to me - maybe “research paper”} Only by [simply] clicking the button of several research engines, large amounts of needed academic resources would[will] {you are saying he does do this, so use will. If you said “if he presses the button”, then you would use “would”} appear on the screen within several seconds, which save[s ] his time that would be unnecessarily wasted while searching for information in the library. Meanwhile, with the help of ipad[an Ipad], it is quite prevalent for office workers to skim the national events of the day on subways every morning, in the modern society.{this last phrase sounds a bit odd here} yet it is difficult to imagine that[doing so] in the past. {it is easy for me to imagine those same people skimming the headlines of a newspaper instead}

Lastly, the relatively reduced[lower] economic cost of receiving [an] education contributes a lot to this favorable change in education.{try to replace one of these "education"s} On one hand, In{no caps} the past, [an] ordinary family could hardly afford to send all their children to get educated, [so] as a result the major[ity] of children quitted the school early and went to do laborious field work {comma} especially in remote regions. However, the [a] Recent{no caps} survey revealed that the dropout rate [has] decreased dramatically since the raid {“raid” is unclear here} economic development in China. In other word, the paying for education is no longer a financial burden on ordinary famil[ies]. On the other hand, {I think this one the one hand / on the other hand is too far spread apart. Also, it is usually used to give two alternatives or contrasting points of view, which is not really what you are doing here} the Chinese government also plays a crucial importance on[role in] {or “has importance in”} boosting the educational development. As we can see, [the goal of] universal education has almost been made possible through the governmental efforts such as implementing the policy of compulsory education and establishing more high schools as well as expanding university enrollment.

Taking into the major three aspects{“aspects” is not really correct here} into account, I agree with the viewpoint that the contemporary people are indeed [find it] easier to get[become] well-educated than in the past.

TOEFL listening discussions: What are the two students doing?

[Cherrycong719]

Dear Luschen ：
Thanks a million. I really need your help and look forward to your reply.
i have corrected the grammatical mistakes, would you please to help me revise it again. In my opinion, several of my words are a little basic, would you please help me to replace some of them ?

Actually i found this topic on a related Toefl reference book.

Never have the educational issues failed to arouse the public’s attention. Now there is a intense discussion about whether it is easier people to become educated than in the past. From my point of view, the contemporary people undoubtedly find it is easier to become educated than before.

At present, more importance is attached to the educational process since people are undergoing overwhelming competitive pressure resulting from increasing population. Obviously, all people have realized that education does matter when they pursue to better themselves. To illustrate, nowadays adults are eager to strengthen the professional knowledge in their spare time for fear that they would be squeezed out by the furious industrial competition. Likewise, teenagers eliminate their entertainment time to do heavy schoolwork in order to not lag behind others, and some of the seniors also choose to attend various social activities to enrich their lives. While the idea of receive an education was not much emphasized back twenty years ago. In those days, the majority of people preferred to enjoy the sunshine with family and have a nice weekend rather than dip into the hill of books.

Apart from the stronger internal motivation to becoming well-educated, the advanced information technology also widens the channels available to gain knowledge. For instance, the introduction of the internet provides people with easy access to much more information, On the contrary, before past several years people were usually constrained to paper reading materials and less exposed to the outside world. Let us suppose that a student is catching up with his research paper. By clicking the button of several search engines, large amounts of needed academic resources related to a certain topic will appear in front of him within several seconds, which saves his time that would be unnecessarily wasted while searching for information in the library. Furthermore, with the help of portable tools such as an Ipad, office workers often skim the national events of the day on subways every morning. yet it is difficult to imagine that in the past eras, and it is easy for me to imagine same people scanning the headlines of a local newspaper instead.

Lastly, the relatively lower economic cost of receiving an education contributes a lot to this favorable change. In the past decades, an ordinary family could hardly afford to send all their children to become educated, so as a result the majority of children quit school early and went to do laborious field work,especially in remote regions. However, a recent survey reported in China Daily revealed that the dropout rate decreased dramatically since the overall living standard of citizens has been improved. In other word, paying for education is no longer a financial burden on ordinary families and many affluent families choose to send their chilren aborad for better education. Furthermore, the Chinese government also plays a crucial part on boosting the educational development. As we can see, the goal of universal education has almost been made possible through the governmental efforts such as implementing the policy of compulsory education and establishing more high schools as well as expanding university enrollment.

Taking the major three reasons into account, I agree with the viewpoint that the contemporary people indeed find it to become well educated than in the past.