Passage: In any state, non-profit organizations cannot exist in the absence...

Hello everyone

I’d like to ask if the following passage is written correctly:

In any state, non-profit organizations cannot exist in the absence of the following conditions:

  1. Absence of serious obstacles from the state authorities for activities of non-profit organizations.
  2. Presence of legal possibilities for financing non-profit organizations’ activities.

Make it more succint and eliminate unnecessary qualifications.

"Non-profit organizations cannot exist with:

1.Government obstacles.
2.Poor legal conditions for funding."

Thank you very much, /quest/.

This is a stylistic remark, but it’s right on. However, if you were to write it out the long way, you should simply cut out the “absence of” and “presence of” parts, and you’d be fine. Of course, it would still be longer and more complicated than necessary, but oh well. The reason you don’t need those words is because you already have the word “absence” in the first line, and you don’t need to repeat it in #1, and in #2, the absence of a presence is just that – an absence! So it’s kind of… redundant, in a way.

Thank you very much, Taeglich.