Online shopping offer lots of advantages. Discuss about this issue

In the twentieth centuries, the advanced technology has a numerous effect on people’s lifestyle. It changes dramatically about the way of life which includes people‘s consumption behavior. Online shopping is one of the advanced technologies that offer lots of advantages for people.
Online shopping is well- known in a couple of years ago. It is a new purchasing channel that makes people more convenient. Purchasers make order and pay for purchase via the website after that they receive their goods by post. Moreover, it can save their time because they do not waste time searching through in many places to find any products. Internet has many kinds of products from every corner of the world. They just spend time for a while accessing the website, they will find out everything that they want. In other words, the sellers have benefit in terms of saving their expense. They do not need to pay for rental location, cost of utilities, and wage. Sellers pay only the website maintenance cost per year. Furthermore, purchasers have no chance to bargain for a goods price.
Nevertheless, most target groups of online shopping‘s purchaser is the middle class. They are habituated in using Internet in a daily life both personality and working .They always buy their stuff via website. Whichever online shopping website that they are satisfied, they will forward to their friends. The website will spread out in rapidly and comprehensively. Thus, sellers do not need to make much advertising. Apparently, Facebook is a social network website which has enormous influent in the present. It is worldwide and has many users from every corner of the world. There are many kinds of online shopping website that is Facebook users. The owner of online shopping website rely on a power of Facebook in order to make their website‘s advertisement.
All in all, according to the changing of people’s consumption behavior in this millennium, online shopping gradually become influential for people‘s life style because its offers lots of advantages.

TOEFL listening discussions: Why does the student need money?

In thIS twentieth centurY, the advanced technology has HAD numerous effectS on people’s lifestyleS. It changes dramatically about the way of life which includes people‘s consumption behavior. Online shopping is one of the advanced technologies that offer lots of advantages for people.
Online shopping is well- known in a couple of years ago. It is a new purchasing channel that makes people more convenient. Purchasers make order and pay for purchase via the website after that they receive their goods by post. Moreover, it can save their time because they do not waste time searching through in many places to find any products. Internet has many kinds of products from every corner of the world. They just spend time for a while accessing the website, they will find out everything that they want. In other words, the sellers have benefit in terms of saving their expense. They do not need to pay for rental location, cost of utilities, and wage. Sellers pay only the website maintenance cost per year. Furthermore, purchasers have no chance to bargain for a goods price.
Nevertheless, most target groups of online shopping‘s purchaser is the middle class. They are habituated in using Internet in a daily life both personality and working .They always buy their stuff via website. Whichever online shopping website that they are satisfied, they will forward to their friends. The website will spread out in rapidly and comprehensively. Thus, sellers do not need to make much advertising. Apparently, Facebook is a social network website which has enormous influent in the present. It is worldwide and has many users from every corner of the world. There are many kinds of online shopping website that is Facebook users. The owner of online shopping website rely on a power of Facebook in order to make their website‘s advertisement.
All in all, according to the changing of people’s consumption behavior in this millennium, online shopping gradually become influential for people‘s life style because its offers lots of advantages.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Groffy, Groffy, Groffy … why do you keep doing this? You turn in a great essay one time, and then a novices essay like this! Whatever happened to consistency Groffy?
This is very poor work. For goodness sake get a grip on yourself. You will never pass a TOEFL exam with work like this.

Kitos. 6/10

Hi kitosdad

it is poor work because the grammar mistake or the essay organization?

Mainly grammar Groffy, but your sentence structure and the content are all wrong too.
Have you been reading like I suggested?

Thank for your advice. Frankly,I rarely reading . recently i so busy but I will try to improve