Nowadays, more and more husbands want to look after children and doing housework in orther hands, wives work out home. There are many different reasons, so I think it must be change of life in man’s mind

Deart teacher,

Plz help me check my friend’s essay.

Thank you,

Nowadays, more and more husbands want to look after children and doing housework in orther hands, wives work out home. There are many different reasons , so I think it must be change of life in man’s mind.

There are some causes can explain for this situation. Firstly, in modern social, the larger of women have success career and very busy, therefore, they need husband’s help. Therefore, women could be entirely time to follow their career after having baby and men could also give up their job to have more free time with baby without criticism of anyone. In addition, it is better equal role in families if society could be change in traditional minds. For example, in the past, my grandfather did not allow my mother following her favorite job such as teacher to look after children, but nowadays, when grandfather has been observed a bunch of wives who have breadwinners role in families, his view is opened mind.

Secondly, in nearly year more and more recruiter like to hire women because some kind of work need the good of women. By the side, job for man become more competional. They have to face stress but earn is not worth. For example, in a bank the number of women is always more than man.

Thirdly, in family the voice each person depends on their ability to divide available tasks for everyone. For example, my friend’s husband has landed housework and take care of children after a long time of unemployment, whereas, my friend might be completely busy in company to earn more money, so they dicided that husband would be continued that role because it is difficult to land a job in that time. Finally, the househusband could be more common, rather than much more husbands would prefer spending time on their baby to pursue vocation.

In my opinion, this change’s role in families progress perfectly. With the rising cost of living, couple should be careful to make decision who go out to earn money, who stay at home in order to assume childcare responsibilities.

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Hi, you did not include the actual prompt, so I am not 100% sure if you have addressed it correctly.
It sounds like this is a “give the reasons for this trend” type of prompt. If so, be sure not to give your specific opinion. You have done this in the conclusion, but unless the prompt asks for your opinion, do not give it. Your content is pretty good here, but your numerous grammatical mistakes make some of your points difficult to understand. Also be sure that each paragraph covers a specific topic - in this essay there should only be one cause discussed per paragraph. Here are some more suggestions:

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Thank you very much, teacher.

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