Nowadays, many people from different cultures get married together.

English as a Second Language Preparation for and help with the TOEFL® Test and
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Here is my essay. Tell me if something is wrong. (I posted it on another topic but it was someone else’s so I created a new one) :slight_smile:

Thanks to the evolution of sciences and technologies, we are nowadays able to travel easily. Therefore, there are more foreigners in each country than there were one century ago and lots of “just married” couples are from different nationalities. Although it can be difficult to understand each other’s culture at first, mixed marriages seem to be, to me, a cultural wealth for a family.

Getting married with someone from a different country can be at first a difficult experience : one has to leave his/her country and family, to fly to another country, s/he has to learn a different language and get used to a completely new culture whereas the other one has to introduce his foreign partner to the rest of the family. And sometimes, the family seems to be a bit reluctant to welcome this foreign new member because they can’t communicate or because they know stereotypes about his/her country.

But, this period of adaptation is also a big chance to share cultures and discover new things, because the world is not limited to one’s home country. A Chinese woman, moving to France to marry a French man might enjoy discovering French cooking or a German man, moving to Argentina, might be pleased to learn the Spanish language. Therefore, mixed marriages are an opportunity to open one’s mind, put apart stereotypes and just discover other customs. If the couple has children, they will be “richer” – culturally speaking – than other children because they will speak two languages or celebrate different holidays and they will feel concern about the two countries. For example, as a French and Moroccan girl, I care about both countries and I am proud to say that I am a "cross-cultural girl”, even if, sometimes, depending on the context, it would be better to hide one of the origin (for example : when there are riots in one of the country about another country, or during wars).

After an adaptation, that might be difficult in the beginning, marriages between persons from different nationalities are a beautiful thing and are the sign that mankind is growing better : few decades ago, it was not possible for German people to marry Jews or for White people to marry Black people in the United States.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture on Modern World History

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Thanks to the evolution of sciences and technologies, we are nowadays able to travel TO DISTANT PLACES MORE easily.
Therefore, there are more foreigners in each country than there were one century ago and lots of “just married” couples are from different nationalities. Although it can be difficult to understand each other’s culture at first, mixed marriages seem to be, to me, a cultural wealth for a family.

Getting married TO someone from a different country can be at first a difficult experience : one has to leave his/her country and family, to fly to another country, s/he has to learn a different language and get used to a completely new culture, whereas the other one has to introduce his foreign partner to the rest of the family, and sometimes the family seems to be a bit reluctant to welcome this foreign new member because they can’t communicate, or because they know/HARBOUR stereotypes about his/her country. ( A VERY LONG SENTENCE.)

This period of adaptation is also a big chance to share cultures and discover new things, because the world is not limited to one’s home country.

A Chinese woman, moving to France to marry a French man, might enjoy discovering French cooking, or a German man, moving to Argentina, might be pleased to learn the Spanish language.

Therefore, mixed marriages are an opportunity to open one’s mind, put apart stereotypes and just discover other customs.

If the couple HAVE children, they will be “richer” – culturally speaking – than other children because they will speak two languages, or THEY WILL celebrate different holidays, and they will feel concern about the two countries.

For example, as a French and Moroccan girl, I care about both countries and I am proud to say that I am a "cross-cultural girl”, even if, sometimes, depending on the context, it would be better to hide one of the originS (for example : when there are riots in one of the countrIES about another country, or during wars).

After an adaptation, that might be difficult in the beginning, marriages between persons from different nationalities are a beautiful thing, and are A sign that mankind is growing/BECOMING MORE TOLERANT.

A few decades ago, it was not possible for German people to marry Jews, or for White people to marry Black people in the United States.

A well expressed opinion Sus. Pity is finished so abruptly. 8/10

Kitos.

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Thank you Kitos for rating my essay.

I know it finishes abruptly but I did in 30mn and I cuoldn’t write more… Mixmixi told me that I shouldn’t say this sentence ‘A few decades ago, it was not possible for German people to marry Jews, or for White people to marry Black people in the United States.’ in the conclusion because it would be considered as an example, and examples “can’t” be written in the conclusion part. But it doesn’t seem to shock you; you said nothing about it. So maybe it’s not a big problem ?

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I’m sure that the examiners, whilst using a set format in their testing, allow a degree of flexibility when reading an interesting essay. Should I be an examiner I would also apply a measure of compassion.

Your essay ending in this way affects me not one jot, but Mix may well be right, for I myself have never taken this test.

I merely edit, and try to improve others essays, without having to face the stress of the participator.

I found your essay, as written, very interesting, and well worth its mark.

Kitos.

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Of course, the examiners are humans and not cold-hearted robots (actually, robots don’t even have hearts…) !

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Dear Suspensi0n,
What I told you about the conclusion, was based on TOEFL books, that I read before. Of course everything is possible in the real exam. :slight_smile:

Mixmixi

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I see what you meant when you said that the sentence wasn’t at the right place because it was another example. It’s just that, as I told you, in France we have to conclude our essays by a kind of example (which is not really an example to us), to then “open” the debate to another issue. But, it’s tipically French I think so I won’t do that in my test. Another thing that is difficult for me as a French is to say what my opinion is. We are never asked to do so in our essays, it always has to be more general. And we have to convey opposites idea : in a first part, defend a statement, then in a second part, defend a statement that is quiet paradoxical with the first one, and in a third part, try and show a way to conciliate the 2 statements or to give another outcome. So it is really new for me to have to give my own opinion and to be true, when I read some essay topics, I’m like “What is my opinion about this question ? Jeez, I don’t have any opinion !!!” [And this has to be thought really fast for the speaking part. In 15 seconds, I have to realize that I have no opinion, try and choose one statement to defend, and organize my thoughts. I think I’ll die during the speaking part!]

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No you WON’T. Come on Suspensi0n! don’t think like that! Ok, you have more time than me, let me tell you something that probably will help you for those 15 seconds of thinking about your ideas. Don’t try to write anything and just think about the subject, and ALSO, most of the topics in writing and speaking are like each others. If you try to write more essays you probably will have more ideas in your speaking. And also the best part is that, most of your ideas in writing about a subject can be used for another one. For example, if you wrote an essay about ‘the benefits of learning by yourself or a teacher’, you probably will be able to use one, or more than one of your reasons in writing an essay about the ‘comparing the learning by books or by experiences’ subject. You see? it’s really related! you just need to do a hard work for the few first ones. the others will come to your mind fluently!

Mixmixi

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Hi all
Myself, people who do not know reasons for the answer of the Speaking test is so major. From my experience, it is all because they tried to think about many complex ideas instead of the 3 very simple ones. Check it out by answering a question both in non-time and time limited. You will see that.