my new essay, thank YOU!

A or d:it is better to work with your own computer and telephone at our home than work in your company’s office
Compared with working in an office, working at home is indeed more comfortable and quiet, thus when choosing their favorite workplace, many people would like to choose their lovely home. However, in my opinion, I consider my company’s office can provide me with higher efficiency, better relationship and a regular life, so I would like to choose to work in my company’s office.
First of all, working in my company makes me feel I am undertaking great duty, so I will work more efficiently. There is an old saying in China goes like this: more pressure, more motivation. I definitely agree with this saying because when I see dozens of documents accumulated on my desk and my department advisor walking around, it is hard for me to wander off my work. However, if I am at home, every time my baby dog Lily jumps into my arms, I will immediately stop doing anything and give her a gentle touch. Therefore, when we are at our offices, there are fewer distractions, but when we are at home, yummy food, our pets or even the argument sound from our neighbors can stop our work and lower our working efficiency. Therefore, I think it is better to work in my office rather than at home.
In addition, I can meet more people if I work in my office, which enables me to expand my friend circle. Granted, it is quiet to work at home, but I am also isolated from others. Even with my computer and telephone, because my co-workers hardly possible keep online or answer their phone at any minute, I cannot talk with them about our work face to face and I cannot share jokes, gossip or complaint with them anytime I want. All of these build up a divider between the co-workers in my office and me, who may become my friends in the future. Thus, my social circle may become smaller and smaller because of the lack of communication with others. Therefore, in order to have more friends and enlarge my friend circle, I would choose to work in my company’s office.
Third, working in my company rather than at home, I will live a healthier and more regular life. Working in my company means I have to ensure arriving at my office punctually every weekday and my life will surely be regular. Take my best friend’s experience for example: Same as me, she is also a night animal. We both enjoy listening to music or watching films alone at midnight even though we know staying up late is bad for our health. However, not until her salary frequently got deducted because of her lateness in the next morning, did she realize she had to correct this bad habit. Afterwards, she decided to go to bed and get up early at the same time every day. Eventually, thanks to the fact that she needs to work in her office, she now has lived a regular and healthy life and has said good bye to staying up late.
All in all, choosing to work in the office of my company means I will also have higher efficiency, a bigger friend circle and a healthier life. In order to be the owner of those three important things above, I will definitely choose to work in my office rather than at home even with various electronic equipment.

TOEFL listening discussions: What is the main weakness of the student’s essay?

Hi Vivian, another outstanding effort. You still have a few minor errors in usage and word choice, but this essay would nevertheless score very high.

Hi Vivian, another outstanding effort. You still have a few minor errors in usage and word choice, but this essay would nevertheless score very high.

Hi Vivian, another outstanding effort. You still have a few minor errors in usage and word choice, but this essay would nevertheless score very high.