Policeman: Your pushbike has no bell, light or brakes. You shouldn’t be riding it on the road.
Bike rider: Sorry, but in the dark I didn’t check its condition before I stole it.
Thanks to Beeesneees.
Please go through and comment.
Boy1: After fifty or sixty years, we’ll become gold.
Boy2: How?
Boy1: Because people say ‘old is gold’. You know?
Could anybody comment on this?
Thanks.
There’s no comment to be made. It’s passable grammatically.
Please help to modify the following joke idiomatically.
Wife: We don’t get any new year calender so far.
Husband: It is not a big matter.
I will buy it when I go to the market.
Wife: Do you want to buy it? People are getting it freely.
If we buy a silk saree at Taj Enterprise, they are
offering one calender freely.
Let us go to Taj and get one new year calender after shopping.
That’s very laboured. This sort of joke needs to be snappy.
Wife: I don’t have a calendar for the new year yet.
Husband: I’ll buy one.
Wife: I know how we can get one free and save money.
Husband: That sounds like a great idea. How?
Wife: They’re giving them free with every silk saree purchased at Taj Enterprise. If you buy me one I will save you the cost of the calendar.
Thanks to Beeesneees for making the joke snappy.
I present another for your perusal and editing.
Mohan: My dad just bought and brought a new dog.
Would you like to come over and pet him?
Sita: I think, I have heard him barking and yelping.
Does he bite?
Mohan: That is what I want to find out.
But people say: Barking dog never bites.
I just came up with a rip-snorting idea for a new joke (pun):
Bev, check my joke and make it snappy!
:))
On second thoughts it may not be a very good one-liner. But it does it for me )
Nope, just not Inselaffen.
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Isn’t that what the clown said to the crocodile?
Hehe,
A good one too. )
Beeesneees/Dozy,
I am awaiting your answer!
If you’re referring to the “barking dog” dialogue, I don’t see any way to make that into a joke. We can tidy it up like this:
Mohan: My dad just bought a new dog. Would you like to come over and pet him?
Sita: I think I’ve heard him barking and yelping. Does he bite?
Mohan: That’s what I want to find out. People say that a barking dog never bites.
However, this is not a joke – at least, not as far as I can tell.
Dozy,
Thanks for your comments.
Please revise it idiomatically.
Wife of the thief: Why do you ask me to hide the drinking Vessel from the reception room
when your friend comes to our house? Is he so bad that
he will steal that vessel from our house?
The thief: No. That drinking vessel, I stole from his house.
Wife: Why do you ask me to hide this wine goblet every time your friend comes to our house? Is he that light-fingered.
Thief: No. It’s just that I stole it from him.
Beeesneees,
What is the meaning of “light-fingered”?
I am writing one more for your correction.
House Owner: When did you settle all your rent arrears?
Tell me a definite date.
Don’t let me come and go unnecessarily.
House Occupier: When my son receives his salary, I will call you, sir.
House Owner: When will your son get his salary?
House Occupier: My son has not yet finished his study.
After only he will get a job, our misery goes.
light-fingered is an idiom meaning Skilled at or given to petty thievery.
Owner: I want to know when you will settle your rent arrears.
Tenant: When my son receives his salary.
Owner: Good. When will that be?
Tenant: He’s still at school, but I’ll let you know the minute he gets a job and brings home his first pay.
Beeesneees,
You have made the joke wonderful. Thanks.
“Don’t let me come and go unnecessarily.”
Is there a special word/idiom for “come and go unnecessarily” like Tamil word - 'alayavaithal"?
Let me come to another joke:
Customer at hotel: Server! Who can drink this type of bad soup?
Please call your hotel manger.
Server: Sir, Our manger cannot also drink it.
Usually he will finish his needs at his home only.
Beeesneees,
“After only he will get a job, our misery goes.”
Is this sentence grammatically OK?
Could you rephrase it in a better way?
Please answer along with your correction on the joke.