It is easier for parents to raise children than it was 50 years ago.

[Samiraslh]

Please someone correct and rate my essay.

Do you agree or disagree with following statement:
It is easier for parents to raise children than it was 50 years ago.

Parents should foster their children perfectly because they play a crucial role in children’s prosperity. Some people are inclined toward the attitude that parents had less duties in the past than today, whereas others holds the opposite prospective. I personally, though, believe that nowadays parents raise their children more easily than it was ever due to advances in technology and improvements in lifestyle.
The first reason that should be taken into consideration is that technology has profoundly improved. It provides a number of amenities for parents to raise their children. Tack the case of public transportation. Today, technology offers safe and fast travels for families. Parents can allow their children to use public transportation system such as bus, taxi, subway to do their works. In contrast, in the past when there were not these facilities, parents had to themselves pick up their children in order to accomplish their tasks. In addition, parents had to take care of their children more and more often than today since the quality of health care was poor and children may die due to simple things such as infection or virus. On the other hand, nowadays medical technology has been enhanced and there are different medical devices helping parents to cure their children easily. Moreover, nowadays, because of technology, parents have more enough time spend with their children. To elaborate on my pint further, take the case of a woman living 50 years ago. She had to spend much time for cooking and she did not have time to speak with their children and teach moral rights and wrongs. However, today parents spend less time to prepare food due to ovens or microwave.
Apart from the points made above, no one can overlook the fact that the life style has improved. Today most parent have completed academic studies. As a result, they can help more their children in their education and guide them in order to meet their teacher’s expectations. Moreover, in the past each family had a lot of children, whereas these days parents have a few childs. Hence, it is more convenient that they manage their children. To illustrate further, consider a man having five children. His children need money for education and he have to a high budget to pay their school’s fee. In addition, he does not have enough time to allocate all them when they have some difficulties. As a result, changing lifestyle has assisted parents in foster their children
To put it in a nutshell, I am of the opinion that these days it is easier for parents to foster their children because of enhancements in technology and developments of lifestyle.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a university professor and a student in the professor’s office

[Luschen]

Hi Samiraslh, not too bad, though some of your arguments were not that convincing to me. Your writing was clear in this one, but you did have quite a few minor errors and a few ambiguous pronouns. Overall, I think I would rate this one a 3.5 out of 5.

@Samiraslh

Please someone correct and rate my essay.

Do you agree or disagree with following statement:
It is easier for parents to raise children than it was 50 years ago.

Parents should foster {you foster a particular quality or skill, or you foster a child who is not your own} their children perfectly because they {“they” here sounds like it refers to the children, not the parents} play a crucial role in children’s prosperity. Some people are inclined toward the attitude that parents had [fewer] duties in the past than today, whereas others hol[d ] the opposite prospective. I personally, though, believe that nowadays parents raise their children more easily than it was ever due to advances in technology and improvements in lifestyle.
The first reason that should be taken into consideration is that technology has profoundly improved. It provides a number of amenities for parents to raise {“to help parents raise” is better} their children. T[ake] the case of public transportation. Today, technology offers safe and fast travels for families. Parents can allow their children to use public transportation system[s ] such as bus, taxi, [or] subway to do their works. {to do their works" is wrong - maybe “to go to work or school”} In contrast, in the past when there were not these facilities [were not available], parents had to themselves pick up their children in order to accomplish their tasks.{is “their” here the parents or the children?} In addition, parents had to take care of their [sick] children more and more often than today since the quality of health care was poor and children [were likely to] die due to simple things such as infection or virus. On the other hand, nowadays medical technology has been enhanced and there are different medical devices helping parents to cure their children easily. Moreover, nowadays, because of technology, parents have more enough time spend {do you mean “more than enough time to spend with”?} with their children. To elaborate on my [point] further, take the case of a woman living 50 years ago. She had to spend much time for cooking and she did not have time to speak with their [her] children and teach moral rights and wrongs. However, today parents spend less time [preparing] food due to ovens or microwave. {hmm, but much discussion could take place while cooking with their children - many people argue that these days parents are not doing a good job teaching their children morals}
Apart from the points made above, no one can overlook the fact that the life style has improved. Today most parent[s ] have completed academic studies. As a result, they can [better] help more their children in their education and guide them in order to meet their teacher’s expectations. Moreover, in the past each family had a lot of children, whereas these days parents have [only] a few child[ren]. Hence, it is more convenient that they [for them to] manage their children. To illustrate further, consider a man having five children. His children need money for education and he ha[s ] to [expend] a high budget to pay their school’s fee. In addition, he does not have enough time to allocate [to] all them when they have some difficulties. As a result, changing lifestyle has assisted parents in [nurturing] foster their children
To put it in a nutshell, I am of the opinion that these days it is easier for parents to foster [raise] their children because of enhancements in technology and developments of lifestyle.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a university professor and a student in the professor’s office

[Samiraslh]

thank you so much for correcting my essay. In fact, in this forum, I have learned through you. I have also a question. what are synonyms of “raise” for this essay?

[Luschen]

Hi, some suitable synonyms are: take care of children, rear children, bring up children, parent children, care for children, provide for children. You can also nurture children, but that implies very special care. Or you can say how specifically - easier to educate children, keep them healthy, provide for their needs, entertain them, instill good character traits in them, provide a strong foundation, and so on. Or you can go the other direction and say “it is easier to be a parent” or “parenting is easier these days”.

[happyface]

Hi! Could I write about this topic related to the money and things that families can afford know to bring up their children as well as feed them, teach them, and having rights for children protection to live in a secure environment for bringing up children could be a good response?

[Torsten]

Hi HappyFace, it all depends on how exactly you phrase your response.

[happyface]

Well, maybe can I say… it is an idea, then I will explain more deeply the reasons I give
1 reason: parents are more able to face life than before as they have a variety of prices and a wide range that they can afford such as children can go to private or public schools to get an education
2 reason: there are nowadays a lot of helps and support that can benefit families who cannot provide as much as goods their kids requieres
3 reason: as mentioned in the second reason, it also exists laws which are for children helping them, as unicef. The government protect children to ensure a good education.