It is always better to have a teacher

[Quang1997]

I’m Phuong, Quang’s sister, would you mind helping me correct the essay about the topic below? Thank you very much.

Topic: Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons to develop your essay.

There has been a heated debate concerning the necessity of learning better by ourselves than with a teacher. In fact, there is a growing sentiment that put more emphasis on the importance of having a teacher to learn with, which is always a better choice. In my opinion, I concur with the latter for two primary reasons.

First of all, the most important reason is that teacher can help their students solve many difficult problems while learning the new lessons. Every day, students go to school and study a variety of subjects. It means that students must master the new lessons taught in the school and practice them after the lessons to gain a better understanding. Therefore, with the help of the teacher, students can ask difficult exercises for themselves and complete them to improve them to the fullest to help with your academic progress.

Secondly, the reason is that studying alone is distracting and boring. If a person doesn’t understand a concept then that person loses interest and gets distracted to other things. Having a teacher makes us to focus on our studies, or if bored makes the subject interesting by giving more examples or by changing teaching technique. For instance, my teacher used to give as puzzle games to solve when we were bored, this helped us to refresh our mind and puzzle games helps to increases concentration.

Some may argue that two these above reasons are not persuasive enough to demonstrate the statement, providing evidence that learning on their own can make them increase a variety of skills such as inquisitiveness, creative and so on. However, we cannot reach the conclusion that studying with a teacher is not necessary without considering concrete examples.

In conclusion, I believe that learning with a teacher is better than on my own. They teach us a lot of meaningful and helpful lessons to increase our knowledge and give us a huge motivation to continue learning in a good way to touch our bright future.

TOEFL listening lectures: What happened at the Potsdam Conference?

[Luschen]

Hi Phuong, I think your writing is better in this one, but the content was pretty weak.
Your thesis statement seemed pretty vague. Your introduction is obviously a template,
but this template does not work very well at all for this topic. I don’t think there is a big debate about learning on your own or with a teacher. And definitely there is not a growing sentiment that learning from teachers is better - this has always been the common sentiment. Your first body paragraph doesn’t really support your thesis much at all. Your second body paragraph is better. I especially liked that you used a detailed and personal example. But then your third body paragraph actually worked against your thesis. In this type of essay it is better to stick to the benefits of one side or the other,
unless the prompt says “discuss both sides” or “give the advantages of both”.
Here are my specific suggestions:

@Quang1997

I’m Phuong, Quang’s sister, would you mind helping me correct the essay about the topic below? Thank you very much.

Topic: Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons to develop your essay.

There has been a heated debate concerning the necessity of learning better by ourselves than with a teacher. {this doesn’t really make sense - you are saying learning better by ourselves is a necessity, but I think you mean the necessity of relying on ourselves to learn better - maybe “… concerning whether learning by ourselves is better than with a teacher”} In fact, there is a growing sentiment that [puts] more emphasis on the importance of having a teacher to learn with,{“learn from” seems better} which is always a better choice. In my opinion, I concur with the latter {which one is “the latter” here? I would explicitly state what your opinion is} for two primary reasons.

First of all, the most important reason is that [teachers] can help their students solve many difficult problems while learning the new lessons. Every day, students go to school and study a variety of subjects. It means that students must master the new lessons taught in the school and practice them after the lessons to gain a better understanding. Therefore, with the help of the teacher, students can ask difficult exercises {“ask difficutl exercises” does not really make sense here} for themselves and complete them to improve them to the fullest to help with your {don’t switch from third person to second person like this} academic progress. {this last sentence does not really make sense. In addition, this paragraph does not seem to support your topic sentence. You don’t explain how teachers can help their students solve problems. In fact, in your paragraph you make it sound like most of the learning depends on the student}

Secondly, [another] reason is that studying alone is distracting and boring. If a person doesn’t {avoid using contractions in formal essays} understand a concept then that person loses interest and gets distracted [by] other things. Having a teacher makes us to focus on our studies, {try not to switch from third to first person like this} or if bored makes the subject interesting by giving more examples or by changing [her] teaching technique. For instance, my teacher used to give [us] puzzle games to solve when we were bored[;] {this was a comma splice run-on sentence - use a semicolon instead} this helped us to refresh our [minds] and puzzle games help[ed] to [increase] concentration.

Some may argue that two these above reasons are not persuasive enough to demonstrate the statement, providing evidence that learning on their own can make [students] increase a variety of skills such as inquisitiveness, [creativity] and so on. However, we cannot reach the conclusion that studying with a teacher is not necessary without considering concrete examples. {at least your paragraph makes sense, but I don’t see how this supports your thesis. Unless you can show that teachers are more effective at encouraging inquisitiveness and creativity, I would leave this out}

In conclusion, I believe that learning with a teacher is better than on my own. They teach us a lot of meaningful and helpful lessons to increase our knowledge and give us a huge motivation to continue learning in a good way to touch[reach] our bright future.

TOEFL listening lectures: What happened at the Potsdam Conference?

[JenniferMcB]

This topic is a bit outdated, but I decided to comment on it. I like this text, but for me the opportunity to contact a teacher or a more experienced specialist is very important. No matter what subject or field you study, you will definitely have questions or problems that are best solved with the teacher, because he has already encountered it and can quickly guide you in the right direction. Don’t be afraid to seek help from others, it will only make your learning better and more enjoyable.

[RobertJ.D]

I support your opinion. The role of the teacher is very important in teaching. The teacher gives the opportunity to guide the student, offers him the best way to study a discipline, can clarify some difficult issues and give inspiration to learn even more. However, all this does not work if the student does not want to learn on his own and stops at the first difficulties. I also had problems with learning before, but I found [helpful hints] on one online resource, where a lot of useful material is collected and you can get help from professionals. This resource helped me a lot in college, so I recommend you try it.