Issue writing: If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it are justifi

[Roytor]

Please help review and rate my essay, thanks

If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it are justifiable.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

I would disagree with the statement saying that with the worthy goal, any approaches taken to reach it are justifiable. In my point of view, while the objective seems important, the path to reach the goal is as important as the goal itself for several reasons.
First of all, people should take into account that every task or approach taken to reach the goal must not cause any trouble to others. Otherwise, the society might be in chaos as everyone try to do anything toward their objective without considering about the moral or ethics. For example, for the building construction, developer has to consider the effect to the surrounding caused by their work or accident might happen to people nearby.
Secondly, as there is the statement mentioning that life is a journey not a destination, therefore, in some situation the means taken to attain the goal is more important than the goal. To illustrate, in college, the exam score might important but what have been learnt during study for the exam is way more important as it is the knowledge that will be useful in the future career. However, if the student only concentrates on the score and cheat on the exam, he might get a good grade point but without the knowledge to apply for his real world of profession.
Finally, in some certain condition, the ways taken to attain the goal is significantly important in order to fairly evaluate things and make a decision. For instance, people tend to buy the food with the organic process certified comparing to other without the process mentioned.
In conclusion, I definitely disagree with the statement mentioning that any approaches are acceptable as long as they help us to reach the goal for reasons. Try to reach the objective without concerning other stakeholder might cause trouble to the society. Sometimes, the approach is more important than the goal itself and the process taken is important for making the decision or evaluation.

[Beeesneees]

This is another example of a subject line that is not meaningful.
You should edit it so that it reflects the essay but fits into the allotted space. That is a skill which may prove useful to you in the future and which would certainly improve your knowledge of English. Why would you work hard on an essay and then show a distinct lack of care and attention to details by giving it a poor subject line?

[Luschen]

Hi Roytor, I am sorry I don’t feel qualified to estimate your scores on these GRE essays. I need to do a little more research to be confident in what they are looking for. I think the GRE essays need to be a bit more complex that this. Unlike the TOEFL, they are not really looking for a yes or no answer but more of an exploration of the gray areas involved in the issue.

@Roytor

Please help review and rate my essay, thanks

If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it are justifiable.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

I would disagree with the statement saying that with the [a ]worthy goal, any approaches taken to reach it are justifiable.{this could sound smoother} In my point of view, while the objective seems important, the path to reach the goal is as important as the goal itself for several reasons.
First of all, people should take into account that every {“any” is better here} task or approach taken to reach the goal must not cause any trouble to others. Otherwise, the society might be in chaos as everyone tr[ies] to do anything{“everything” is better here - or “everything possible”} toward [achieving] their objective without considering about the moral[s ] or ethics . For example, for the [a ] building['s] construction, [the] developer has to consider the effect to the surrounding[s ] caused by their work or [an] accident might happen to people nearby. {this example is a but unclear to me - what exactly do you mean by “surroundings”? Also, this example doesn’t really seem appropriate for showing someone taking unjustifiable means to obtain a goal}
Secondly, as there is the statement mentioning that life is a journey not a destination, {this clause sounds a little stilted} therefore, in some situation[s, ] the means taken to attain the goal is more important than the goal. To illustrate, in college, the exam score might [be] important but what ha[s ] been learnt during study for the exam is way more important as it is the knowledge that will be useful in the [student’s] future career. However, if the student only concentrates on the score and cheat[s ] on the exam, he might get a good grade point but without the knowledge to apply for[to] his real world of profession. {this example is more relevant to the topic}
Finally, in some certain condition[s ], the ways taken to attain the goal is significantly important {this sounds a bit unnatural - usually we use these two words together when saying “significantly more important”} in order to fairly evaluate things {try to avoid using “things” - I am not sure exactly what you mean here} and make a decision. For instance, people tend to buy the food with the organic process certified compar[ed] to other [food] without the process mentioned.{make it more clear what this example has to do with the topic - I don’t really see how it applies}
In conclusion, I definitely disagree with the statement mentioning that any approaches are acceptable as long as they help us to reach the goal for reasons. {“for reasons” sounds odd here - like something is missing} Try[ing] to reach the objective without concerning [being concerned about] other stakeholder[s ] might cause trouble to the society. Sometimes, the approach is more important than the goal itself and the process taken is important for making the decision or evaluation.