Would you mind helping me correct the essay ? Thank you very much.
The reading passage:
A leading question among anthropologists is: what exactly led to the development of human cities? Basically, modern humans have existed on earth for over 100,000 years. Yet it is only in the last 8,000 years that they have begun to gather in significant numbers and form cities. Prior to that period, humans existed in small family or tribal groups, generally consisting of fewer than 100 individuals. What, then, led humans to make the dramatic shift from living in small groups to living in large, organized cities? It seems that the development of cities required a particular set of circumstances.
First, it required a minimum population density. For much of their early history, humans existed only in small numbers. This is due to the fact that early humans relied on hunting and gathering wild foods for their survival. Even the most fertile land would only support a relatively small number of predators, so it was not until humans began to practice agriculture that they were able to gather in large enough numbers to form cities.
Furthermore, the development of a city could only be possible if a large number of people shared a common language, culture and religion. Without such unifying factors, a cooperative, peaceful existence among large numbers of people would have been impossible.
Finally, it seems that early humans needed to be faced with a large problem, which one small group of individuals could not solve on its own. Only when large-scale cooperation was needed to overcome a problem would humans come together to form cities
The lecture:
My writing:
In the set of the reading and the lecture they both discuss the development of human cities from the dramatic shift from living in small groups to living in larger organized cities. On the one hand, the reading argues that a particular set of circumstances is required to develop the cities. On the other hand, the lecture opposes by stating that the rising of human is developing differently after every decade in the past.
First of all, the reading states that a minimum population density is required to the development of cities. The early humans first had to go hunting and gather the food for their living, then humans started to practice agriculture to be possible to gather forming cities. However, the lecture disagrees by saying that small group of people began gathering, hunting and practicing culture. For instance, they shows us a lot of evidences about Mesopotania that now is called the Middle East and Ur and Kish
In addition, the reading goes on to say that a large number of people shared a common language, culture and religion. A cooperative, peaceful existence in a numerous of people would have been not possible without factors which is unifying. In contrast, the lecture emphasizes that the number of people were growing which means that the food supplies were much more increasing. They used to stay in one places, small group lived in small area, share common culture. But hunting and culturing developed into agricultural practices.
Last but not least, the reading indicates that human had to face to face with a huge problem, which one small group of individuals couldn’t solve. Large-scale cooperation was necessary to overcome a problem where people would jointly establish cities. Paradoxically, the lecture insists that the climate changed. When there was a change of climate, it became drier, water was needed, so they had to dig ditches which means that people would come together.