INFORMATION FREELY SHARED

Good afternoon Sir,

Kindly assist to correct and comment on my writing as below. Thank you so much!


TOPIC: Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.


Information and data has become a vital factor to the success in any certain filed, particularly to scientists, businesspeople and scholars. Despite common belief that important and valuable information should be kept confidential, many people stand their ground on freely sharing information considering different competency, contribution to general development and personal benefits.

First, the amount of information someone possesses does not equal their ability. As the saying goes, “knowledge is not power, the usage of knowledge is power”. The generation of nuclear power is not a secret, nevertheless, only some countries have proper technologies and infrastructures to utilize it. Likewise, breakthrough innovations are come up with by numerous minds but only brought about by few competent inventors.

Second, data distribution speeds up society development. Experience from seniors allow successors to avoid mistakes thus save a great deal of time and expense. Taking an overall viewpoint, their organization benefits from this sharing practice. Had every scientist started their research from scratch and gone through the same routine of trials and errors, we might be reading books in candle light now.

Third, with sharing information come great opportunities and supports. A corporation between people owning knowledge and those holding adequate tools paves the path to great achievements. Many fresh graduate students start up successfully by sharing their business concepts and appealing potential investors. Besides, our potential misbelieves will likely be corrected also.

All in a word, the advantages of information share outweigh the risk of value loss. Knowledge spreading does not affect one’s capability but contribute to general and personal benefits. The key to succeed is learning how to exploit what we learned instead of keeping it a secret.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a bookstore sales clerk and a student

Hi Nhp Uyen, welcome back to the forum! I enjoyed your essay.
I think you have addressed the prompt pretty well, but your writing has quite a few awkward or unnatural sounding phrases. I think adding more specific examples to illustrate your points would be a good addition. Here are some specific suggestions: