hello, would you please correct this informal letter for me? I am very grateful to you for your help. Thank you very much. Wish you happy.
Dear Janet,
Thank for your writing. I am writing to give some suggestions about the plan you 've made for a two- day visit to your town of our teenagers.
Firstly, it is very interesting to know that there will be a football match in the first afternoon. I strongly believe that they would be very excited to go because most of them are fans of football club.
Additionally, it might be a good idea for them to enjoy rock music in the first evening instead of classical music due to the fact that they are very young and active.
What’s more, you know they all are living in urban where there is no horse. As a result , I’m afraid it is really difficult for them to ride. Have you thought about traveling by horse-pulled carts ?
Finally, in the second evening ,I would suggest an activity in which they could be involved.It is dancing. Personally, I think discotheque is a suitable place for the young to enjoy life. They can relax by either listening to rock music mixed by famous DJs, or dancing , and they can enjoy well- known brand wine as well.
All for now .
I hope to hear from you soon.

TOEFL listening discussions: Why does the student visit the registrar’s office?

Hi, your writing is pretty clear, but you do have some grammatical errors and some unclear phrases. You seem to be addressing some comments made in your friend’s previous letter, but you never really refer back to them. Also your last paragraph does not sound that natural to me.