Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
University students should take out student loans to avoid working while studying.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Students have the option of taking student loans or work for some part time on-campus or off-campus jobs to meet their financial needs when they take admission to a college or university. Many prefer students working while studying, because they feel repayment of loan can be a huge obligation after the students pass out. However, I feel the students must avail the opportunity to take a student loan to support their tuition as well as living expenses.
Firstly, this would take away the financial burden off their parents. Not all parents have the financial ability to support their child’s higher education. In order to fulfill their child’s dream they resort to taking loans from various institutions or individuals. This can affect their family finances. Whereas, if the student takes loan, he has to repay it after the completion of degree when he has found an employment. Many financial institutes offer easy loan repayment schemes which the students find quite comfortable to deal with.
Secondly, undergraduate and graduate courses can be very demanding with lots of assignments and submission deadlines. It can be overwhelming and stressful for a student to manage academic obligations and at the same time to work to pay for his education. My cousin Ron had taken admission for MS in Computer Science to Arizona State University. He did not get any scholarship to support him. Instead of taking a student loan he opted to do on-campus job. The job required him to work at odd hours. So, he had less sleep and rest and used to feel sleepy during lectures. It was affecting his grades. After trying hard for one semester, he opted for student loan. His grades improved and he got a scholarship in the third semester for one full year.
Finally, the students can focus on their academics, which is the reason why they have chosen to go for higher studies. As we know, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. The students get ample time to engage in various campus activities like sports, music, poetry club, according to his or her liking. This helps a student to relax so that they could resume studying with new vigour.
To conclude, taking student loan will help a student focus more on academics which is the sole reason for him or her to get admitted. It will also leave him with enough time to unwind and pursue his hobbies. The student gets to create memories which he can cherish later.
Hi Sharmistha, I thought this introduction was much better than your previous one. Your second and third body paragraphs were good, but your first one was off topic. The question is not whether students or their parents should take out loans, it is whether loans or jobs are better.
You need to be sure not to deviate from the prompt or the grader will assume you are avoiding the question. You could just concentrate on your other two reasons and have only two body paragraphs, or you can focus more on the end of that first body paragraph and reason that since a college education vastly increases your lifetime earnings, it is easy to repay a student loan, especially since the payments are often not required until the student graduates and begins working. Your writing is clear, but you did have a few errors in wording and sentence structure. I know you asked about word count. Generally, for the TOEFL, the higher the word count the better, as there is no maximum. Still, this assumes that you do not have any repetition of ideas - saying the same thing over and over with different wording is of course not recommended. Also, if you sacrifice grammar and vocabulary by having a longer essay with more errors, that is not a good trade off. Here are some additional specific suggestions.
Thank you for scrutinising my essay. Can you please elaborate on this suggestion of yours?..{in your conclusion, restate your thesis first, then summarize your reasons, then end with a call to action or broader lesson, as you did in your final sentence}
Do i write the exact thesis sentence as is in my introduction?..I feel the students must avail [themselves of] the opportunity to take a student loan to support their tuition as well as living expenses.
No, you should paraphrase your thesis in different words. I did this in my comments: “To conclude, [I strongly favor student loans over part-time jobs in order to finance college.]”