In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon

In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.
Over the past few years, the development has taken place in many parts of the world. This is contributed in a better standard of living, which is resulting in an increase in life expectancy. So far, there are many elderlies who managed to live up to 100 years old. This phenomenon indicates that the quality of life has risen up.

There are several reasons that lead to a longer life expectancy. The first and foremost factor would be basic needs that consist of money, food, cloth and shelter. People will have a better standard of living, if they are able to satisfy their basic needs. A better standard of living leads to a longer life expectancy. Moreover, education is another factor that helps to boost up the life expectancy of people. A good illustrator of this is people, who are educated, know the basic rule of hygienic and the primary health care. Hence, they will be able to look after themselves and their family members. In addition, developed in medical facility also results in lower average of death rate. Nowadays, there are many vaccines given to children, in order to prevent childhood diseases.

On the one hand, these days people become aware of deteriorated condition of life. I suppose that the number of smoker has declined considerably in many countries. In same way, people tend to spend more time in exercise, as they became more concerned about their health. Similarly, the balance diet also plays an essential role on people’s health. As we can see, these days people tend to eat more fruit and vegetable instead of staple food such as snack and junk food. As a result, people have a good health, which is leading to a higher life expectancy.

To recapitulate, all these factors are the crucial keys for this occurrence. In fact, this phenomenon implies of the wealth off nation. Perhaps, in the future the life expectancy will extend longer, if people care more about thier health.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between two students at the library

In general, people TODAY are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon. Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.

Over the past few years, the AMAZING developmentS HAVE taken place in many parts of the world. This HAS contributed in TOWARD a better standard of living, which is resulting in an increase in life expectancy. So far, there are many elderlY PEOPLE who HAVE managed to live up to 100 years old. This phenomenon indicates that the quality of life has /risen up/IMPROVED DRAMATICALLY.

There are several reasons that lead to a longer life expectancy. The first and foremost factor would be basic needs that consist of money, food, clothES and shelter. People will have a better standard of living, if they are able to satisfy their basic needs. A better standard of living leads to a longer life expectancy. Moreover, education is another factor that helps to boost up the life expectancy of people. A good illustratION of this is THAT people who are educated know the basic ruleS of hygienic and the primary health care. Hence, they will be able to look after themselves and their family members. In addition, developMENTS in medical facilitIES HAVE also resultED in /lower average of death rate/A MUCH LOWER NUMBER OF RECORDED DEATHS. Nowadays, there are many vaccines given to children, in order to prevent childhood diseases.

On the one hand, these days people become aware of deterioratING conditionS IN THEIR LIVES. I suppose that the number of smokerS has declined considerably in many countries. In THE same way, people tend to spend more time in exercise, as they becOme more concerned about their health. Similarly, theIR balanceD diet also plays an essential role IN people’s health. As we can see, these days people tend to eat more fruit and vegetableS instead of staple food such as snackS and junk food. As a result, people have BETTER health, /which is leading/WHICH ALL LEADS TO/ to a higher life expectancy.

To recapitulate, all these factors are the crucial keys for this occurrence. In fact, this phenomenon implies of REFLECTS UPONthe wealth of A nation. Perhaps, in the future(,) the life expectancy will extend EVEN longer, if people care more about THEIR health.
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Very good Xamba, but you drifted into an informal mood halfway through. Try to avoid personal comments, such as, “I think, or I suppose.” Generally examples should always
refer to a third party.

Kitos. 8.5/10

Thank you so much for your comment! I would like to ask that in order to express my point of view in the formal way,is it better to use “i believe” instead of " i suppose or i think"?

Better still, “My enquiries have shown” or “My researches have revealed.”

Oh, I got it. Although these two sentences have got the same meaning, the latter sounds more formal. Thank you sir!!