IELTS writing task 2 to check, thakns in advance for checking

[b]Many newspapers and magazines feature stories about the private lives of famous people. We know what they eat, where they buy their clothes and who they love. We also often see pictures of them in private situations.

Is it appropriate for a magazine or newspaper to give this kind of private information about people?

We buy a newspaper to find out about the world, politics, domestic affairs and other important things. Magazines, on the other hand have a different purpose, namely they provided us with the entertainment. However, nowadays, many newspapers include stories which are irrelevant.

From my point of view, this kind of information should not be included in newspapers because if someone wants to buy one, we can simply assume that he or she wants to read about the current world situation, stock market information or about economics. Hitherto, he or she might feel jittery while delving into it. Secondly, if newspapers want to publish some article about a famous person they should focus on important matters, for instance his/her achievements. In other words, if there is an article about Prince Harry it should be about his voluntary work, which will increase the public awareness of important issues. 

Magazines, in contrast, focus on social matters and it is more acceptable for them to publish some information about private life of famous people. However, such news should not be embarrassing or untrue because it might result in great unhappiness to the concerned people. On the other hand, sometimes information published in a magazine can help them in developing their careers and it might have a substantial impact on their lives. 

In conclusion, to my way of thinking newspapers should concentrate on real and important news but magazines can share some articles on people's private life but this information should be checked before it is published. 

Luschen thank You for everything You have done, this essay is my last one before IELTS and I want to say that this forum is a great tool for improving our language skills :slight_smile:

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture in the Social Sciences Department

Hi, thanks for your kind words and good luck on your test. I think the prompt was talking about magazines and newspapers together, so I am not sure it is good to separate them like you did. But your reasons were quite convincing, so I think it is probably ok. You have some good vocabulary and interesting and varied sentences with good transition phrases, but you do have some minor errors and some poor word choices.