IELTS Writing task 2: The gap between the rich and the poor is increasingly wide,as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer

#1

Dear teacher,

Please help me check this IELTS Writing task 2. Essay.

The gap between the rich and the poor is increasingly wide,as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause? What are the solutions to address those problems?

It is said that the bond between the upscale and downscale is getting wider. I do believe with this statement that could broaden many social issues and illegal behaviors . As the world is becoming flatter, those developing countries might have been effected dreadfully.

The increasing of economic inequalities is the main results leading to national economic stagnation . This one problem is also bring about lots of bad consequences involved in standard of living and low consciousness. With the rising level of crime, especially in juvenile, these countries could be in the verge of annihilation. Besides that, citizens living in those places tend to do some illegal things such as robbery or prostitution, their affairs are only ceased by government intervention.

To interfere severe problems, government should regulate some strict laws to minimize crime rate and invest in education to increase an awareness of every single person. Schools are also equipped with good facilities to help the poor in such places which doesn’t meet the requirements. Children is the main core of any countries around the world , not only are poor nations but also are giant ones. Children investment is one of the wisest ways to solve the root problems down the road.

To sum up, the gap between rich and poor is a controversial topic which governments are trying to figure out an appropriate resolution, by good investment in education, those problems could be completely wiped out as if that is an initial priority.

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#2

Dear teacher,

Please help me with this essay,

Thank you

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#3

Hi, your introduction was a little rough, but your body paragraphs were much better.
Your thesis statement did not really address the prompt, but you did have the correct format for the overall essay, with one paragraph discussing the problems and a second discussing the solutions. You had some good ideas, but I don’t know if focusing on crime inforcement is the best solution. It seems like trying to correct some of the root causes would be better. You touched on this with your education focus, but how about making sure these poor people can get good jobs? Or at least have health care and housing while they are training for or searching for a good job? You had a lot of unclear and odd sounding phrases and sentences. Here are some comments:

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#4

Dear teacher,

Thank you very much.

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