Please help review my IELTS writing task 2. Which band score am I possibly sitting? Many thanks
Task 2
Nowadays, many animal species are becoming extinct. Some people believe that countries and individuals must solve this problem, others believe that humans being are more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In recent years, there have been many animal species being on the edge of extinction while some people argue that this problem must be resolved by governments and individuals, others claim that it is more important to deal with humans problem than preserve endangered animals. Personally, I believe that the conservation of the animals is essential for humans as well; therefore, both governments and individuals should have responsibility to address this problem.
There are several reasons for why many people argue that humans are the most important beings. We are all humans and we like each other, which means our lives take priority over other creatures which do not think and have likeness same as humans. Indeed, we do all of things including employing animals in order to reach the aim of demand for our lives. Besides, humans have self – awareness that has developed our civilization and helped us become the most powerful and intelligent beings in the Earth. For that reason, we have the right to be the most important beings.
Humans are facing with many problems stemming from its humans actions. One of the them is the loss of balance ecosystem which exposure to many species was extinct so we should have support from individuals and authorities from all around the world. If the unbalance ecosystem keeps going, we would face with significant serious changes like many animals would not have enough food that could be extinct animals, which influences seriously on our food chain because each creature play a crucial role in the chain, and extinction of an animal that would lead to another animal, and going on until stopping at humans.
In conclusion, although both views have certainly some validity, it seems to me that it is better to deal with this problem by supports from both individuals and governments together.