IELTS Writing task 2: In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing

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Please help to correct my writing and give some feedback for my essay IELTS writing task 2. Thank you very much!

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

It is true that an increasing number of people are faced with obesity and many other health-related issues. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons and suggest some feasible remedies for this problem.

To begin with, the fact that many people are suffering from obesity and other health issues stems from several reasons. Firstly, people tend to consume more junk food and soft drinks, as they are increasingly ubiquitous these days. This would lead to a higher intake of fat and sugar, making people likely to put on weight. Secondly, it seems that more and more people lead sedentary lifestyles. That is to say, many young adults often spend hours using their social media platforms, rather than going to the gym. Since they are not physically active, more people are prone to many diseases, particularly obesity.

There are numerous remedies that can be taken to solve this problem. One key measure is that the government should impose a higher tax on junk food and soft drinks. If these unhealthy food and drinks are prohibitively priced, less people will consume them. Another significant remedy is that individuals should be more health-conscious by going on a diet and eating food that contains vitamins and minerals. In this way, they can reduce the amount of fat and provide adequate nutrition for their bodies. Furthermore, it is advisable that people should take some forms of physical activities such as running or cycling. By doing physical exercises, not only could individuals boost their immune systems but also keep their bodies in shape.

In conclusion, the health of people in many countries is deteriorating for some reasons. Therefore, it is vital that the government levy a higher tax on unhealthy food and drinks. Moreover, individuals should follow a balanced diet and get involved in more physical activities.

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Your essay sounds really good. Still let me add my two cents.

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

It is true that an increasing number of people are faced with obesity and many other health-related issues. In this essay, let me discuss the reasons and suggest some feasible remedies for this problem.

To begin with, the fact that many people are suffering from obesity and other health issues stems from several reasons. Firstly, people tend to consume more junk food and soft drinks, as they are increasingly ubiquitous these days. This leads to a higher intake of fat and sugar, making people likely to put on weight. Secondly, it seems that more and more people lead sedentary lifestyles. That is to say, many young adults often spend hours immersed in their social media platforms, rather than go to gyms or playgrounds. Not being physically active, people are prone to many diseases, particularly obesity.

There are numerous remedies that can solve this problem. One is that the government should impose a higher tax on junk food and soft drinks. If these unhealthy food and drinks are prohibitively priced, fewer people will consume them. Another significant remedy is that individuals should be more health-conscious of their dietary habits by eating nutritious food that contains vitamins and minerals, which will reduce the amount of fat and provide adequate nutrition to their bodies. Furthermore, it is advisable that people take some sort of physical activities such as running or cycling or swimming. By doing physical exercises, individuals could not only boost their immune systems but also keep their bodies in shape.

In conclusion, let me say that the health of people in many countries is deteriorating for some or other reasons. Therefore, it is vital that the government regulate the sale of unhealthy food and drinks on one hand, and individuals follow a balanced diet in their own interest, along with adequate physical activities on a regular basis on the other hand.

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Very interesting topic regarding obesity and consequences occurred for health issues. Whatever, we take as food at any amount, it doesn’t matter, it would not harm our health, if, we should know burn the calories by doing exercise. People should aware of unhealthy drinks and they themselves stop drinking, then it will automatically become out of sale. Consuming sweets depends their body health, some people would become diabetic due to their hereditary problem. Nowadays social media becomes everyone to be lazy not doing physical exercises. To improve immunity, we should follow starve/fasting one or two days in a month, it will definitely improve our immunity, our whole body will get rest and it will decrease while blood and improve our body system. These all my opinion to the above topic. I cannot correct your writing. But it is good.

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