Hi Mehmet! I’ll leave the Band Score to @Torsten, but I do have some feedback to your assignment.
while the number of passengers who used light rail and metro systems increased in just after 1980.
You don’t need the word “in” above, unless you wanted to say that it “increased in number,” but even that sounds inelegant compared to “… increased just after 1980.”
At the beginning of the period,
I’d point out which period. You could say, “From 1950…” just to be more precise.
while the figure peaked up at about 1100 million passengers in 1960.
“Up” is redundant here. The correct expression is just “peaked at xy.”
1100 million passengers
Speaking from my experience as a journalist, you don’t want to transcribe the numbers exactly from a graph every time. There is no such number as “one thousand one hundred million,” because in reality, that’s “one billion one hundred million.” In other words, I’d transcribe this as “1.1 billion passengers.”
Regarding to London underground
“Underground” should be capitalized.
the number of passengers were about just under 750 million in 1950.
“About” is redundant. You’re already pointing out it’s under a certain threshold – in this case 750 million – so there’s no “about.” If this doesn’t make sense, please let me know.
Then, the figure remained constant to 1975, whereas the least passengers accounted for nearly under 500 million in just after 1980.
This whole sentence sounds odd to me. I’d first separate it into two. Try to find different places for words such as “then” and “thereafter” because you’re mostly starting the sentence with those, and changing it up makes for a better reading experience in general. Try this: “The figure then remained constant until 1975. The number of passengers dropped down to under 500 million just after 1980, marking the biggest dip on the graph.”
whereas the least passengers
I’d like to point out something here especially. “The least” is used in front of uncountable nouns, like information or ideas. Passengers, however, are definitely countable – this graph serves as an example – so the word you’re looking for is “fewest.” I personally don’t really like the way it sounds, so I changed the sentence completely.
… just under 1000 million at the end of the period.
Again, I’d point out which period. Also, “one thousand million” is actually just one billion.
light rail and metro systems started to serve after 1960
I’d much rather go with “were introduced” or something like that. This is a pitfall of translating literally from your own language to English. Not every phrase is used in the same way (I know because I make the same mistake far too often!)
the number of the passengers who get on the light rail and metro systems were about 150 million.
“Get on” is not what I’d go with. I realize you may have been trying to evade the word “used” because you’ve already said it in the previous sentence. Keeping this in mind, I’d rather say “the number of passengers opting for the light rail and metro systems … etc.”
