IELTS Task2: agree or disagree

[sophia]

Hello Sophia again, I tried to explain more details and express more precise ideas. Please help me with this essay, thank you.

Q: Anyone can use a mobile phone to answer the work call and home call at any place, or 7 days a week. Some people think this development has negative effects on both individual and society. Do you agree or disagree?

These days, there are variety of different perspectives on the question that is it a good development that people can answer phone calls everywhere and anytime. Although some people believe that this situation causes some downsides on both individual and society, it is my argument that this trend can help development of society like create economic benefits and connection with family members. My two reasons for this are as follows.

First of all, I would argue that this idea of taking a phone call everywhere at any time would interrupt people’s life is not always right. It is certainly true that people should divide work and private life by avoiding phone call at personal time, however, I think that answer a phone call from work everywhere at any time can save time and solve problems quickly. One particular good example of this is that when my boss went on a trip, he still answered an emergency phone call from one of our customs. He solved their problems and saved our company from this crisis. Because of that selfless movement, my company became one of the biggest companies in the world.

Furthermore, because the invention of mobile phone, everyone can keep in touch with their family and friends. In one instance, when you miss somebody the only thing you need is pick up your phone and call them. Besides, if there is any emergency happened, you would be informed immediately by using cellphone.

By way of conclusion, for the reasons stated above I believe that answer phone call anytime is at any place is a good thing for modern life.

[Luschen]

Hi Sophia, you have some good ideas here and your writing is very clear. You do have a few small errors here and there , but they didn’t really affect my comprehension. You did a good job of writing the correct essay format - since this is an “agree or disagree” prompt, you only need to discuss one side or the other, which you did correctly here. Still, your essay was not quite on target. I think reading the prompt a little more closely will give you clues on the essay the grader will be expecting. Here the prompt says, “on both individuals and society”. That should give you a clue that it would be best to devote one paragraph to the advantages 24 hour access has on individuals and the second paragraph on the advantages it has to society. So you could modify your second body paragraph about improved communication and emergencies for the individual effects and make your first body paragraph more general, saying how cell phones can improve productivity and allow workers to be more flexible by working and solving problems anywhere and at all times. This then raises the living standards of society as a whole. Here are some other suggestions:

@sophia

These days, there are variety of different perspectives on the question [of whether it is] a good development that people can answer phone calls everywhere and [at any time] { Anytime vs. Any Time - Difference, Usage & Examples } Although some people believe that this situation causes {“causes downsides” sounds a bit unnatural - I would say “results in some downsides” or “has some downsides”} some downsides on both [individuals] and society, it is my argument that this trend can help development of society [by creating] economic benefits and [fostering] connection with {“between” is better here} family members. My two reasons for this are as follows. {I would leave out this last sentence - it seems more effective to end with your thesis statement}

First of all, I would argue that this idea of taking a phone call everywhere at any time would interrupt people’s [lives] is not always right. {this is a good strategy - to find flaws in the opposing viewpoint} It is certainly true that people should divide work and private life by avoiding phone [calls during one’s] personal time, however, I think that [answering] a phone call from work everywhere at any time can save time and solve problems quickly. One [particularly] good example of this is that when my boss went on a trip, he still answered an emergency phone call from one of our customs [offices]. He solved their problems and saved our company from this crisis. Because of that selfless movement, {“movement” is not really correct here} my company became one of the biggest companies in the world. {this seems a little exaggerated to base the success of the company on one phone call - maybe better to say “Because of acts like this, where employees go above and beyond the call of duty by taking business calls on personal time, my company …”}

Furthermore, because the invention of mobile phone, everyone can keep in touch with their family and friends. In one instance, when you miss somebody the only thing you need is pick up your phone and call them. Besides, if there is any emergency happened, you would be informed immediately by using cellphone. {This is a little off track - we are not really talking about cell phones in general, we are talking about answering them all the time, 7 days a week. Maybe say parents are always happy to talk with their kids no matter what time of day they call, and that emergencies can happen at any time and any place, so answering your phone when it rings can help someone in deep trouble or might even save a life. Something like that, focusing on answering the phone}

By way of conclusion, for the reasons stated above I believe that [answering a] phone call anytime is at any place is a good thing for modern life.

[Kolev123]

Straight to the point.I think that this modern society is very stupid because when you are in a public transport most of the people are using their mobile phones making conversations.It is absolutely missing of culture.I don’t think that is normal to listen their conversations.For me as a human being without mobile phone during 15 years and now when you can be reached at any place at any time nothing has changed.Sad but true…I am using mobile phone because is cheaper.Sad but true.Landlines became more expensive which is abnormal.