IELTS: Some people think that parents teach children how to be good member

Hi Friends,

This is my second essay to this forum. Please help me to correct my grammar and the structure of sentences. Would also appreciate if someone can rate my essay according to the IELTS band.

Topic: Some people think that parents teach children how to be good member of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this

It is a social responsibility of every individual to make his/her society a better place to live in. In order to achieve such responsibilities each person must possess some imperative qualities such as good ethics, moral, respect to society law and culture, truthfulness, rational thinking and so on. Since recent years, identifying the correct source of such qualities have sparked a heated debate. Some people may think that its the sole responsibility of parents, however, others may content that school plays a vital role in imparting the proper knowledge to the children.

Undeniably, parents are the only person with whom a child spend his/her maximum time, hence it is the duty of every parents to utilise this time in educating their child to understand the need to obey rules of community and respect others. Moreover, certainly every child tries to imitate what his/her parents does, hence parents must behave according in front of their children.

However it was never true that a school is merely responsible to teach children about basic skills and information. Schools share’s an equal amount of responsibility as the child’s parent has, in preparing a child to become a better member of society. The curriculum and course of the child’s education should be organized well keeping in mind, how it will help in moulding the child’s view-point. A child should be taught how to raise voice against any kind of injustice being done on poor people. They should know how to understand and share the value system of a whole society.

Furthermore, its merely through education a child can learn the importance of natural resources and the swift speed with which they are exhausting. For instance, many schools have environmental studies as one of the subject in primary section, which focuses on educating the detrimental effects due to careless and uncontrolled use of natural resources such as water, trees and ways to curb down their ply.

To sum up, I would concede that it is the onus of every members of the society to teach and guide the next generation. The next generation is the future of the society and it is in our hand to make our future bright.

TOEFL listening discussions: An assistant lecturer talking to a new student

Hi, I enjoyed reading your essay. Your structure is pretty good and your arguments are good. You do have some grammatical errors, mainly in singular/plural agreement. You also have some awkward or unclear phrases - what do you mean by “ply”? Overall, I think this essay is about band 6.

many thanks Lushen,

Yes I agree with you that I usually tend to make grammatical errors on singular/plural agreement.

About “ply”, I was trying to say “curb down their use”, think I got confused with the meaning of ply.

That definition of ply has a narrow meaning - to keep giving us something - like “ply us with desserts” - here I would say “curb their use” - remember, don’t say “curb down”.

Thanks Luschen,
Noted your suggestion.