Ielts essay about artists... please help me proofread this ^^

Topic: Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Answer:

There are different views about the funding of creative artists. While some people disagree that governments should support for artists, I believe that money for art projects should come from both the government and other sources.

On the one hand, it is vitally important for artists to receive financial help from governments. In fact, only a few artists, who have achieved success in their fields, are able to support themselves, whereas others are still struggling for life and some of them are even living below the poverty line. Therefore, without financial funding by the state, it seems impossible for most artists to develop and fine their works of art as well as implementing social art projects which require vast sums of money. Having artworks subsidized by the authorities also enable artists to pursue their career on creating work arts, thereby building a vibrant artistic environment.

On the other hand, people think that creative artist should not get help from governments and other organisations would be the ones to sponsor them. First, it is fair to say that artists are just like other professionals, most musicians and the majority of painters make a living by performing or selling their artistic creations to fans or collectors. Second, governments’ budgets need to be spent on education, healthcare and other vital concerns. Since climate change and novel pandemics have been receiving a great deal of media attention around the world due to its substantial impacts on human life, art is regarded as something trivial. Therefore, enterprises and entertaining companies should be responsible for helping creative musicians by sponsoring them or have their products approached people broadly through social media, which in turn not only facilitates their financial burden on their family but also attract more citizens’ attention on arts.

In conclusion, there are compelling reasons why artists should not rely on the government, but I believe that money from both the state and other sources would be needed to support them to maintain the fundamental contributions of arts to human life in entertainment, culture and endless other fields.

3 Likes

Hi Hieubi, welcome to our forum. The coronavirus is triggering a lot of change across all kinds of systems, especially the economy. Especially creative entrepreneurs and artists are now relying on help from the government and society in general so your essay is quite on target.

By the way, how are you holding up during this time of crisis? I take things in Taiwan are slowly turning back to ‘normal’? Stay safe and keep in touch.

Regards,
Torsten

2 Likes

Hi Mr Torsen, thank you so much for your reply. I’ve been staying home for almost 2 months because of the CoV-19 pandemic and I miss my school ^^
By the way, this is the first time i’ve posted my essay on the forum so can you please proofread it and give me some advice^^ Stay safe #togetherathome.
Regards,
Hieu

2 Likes

Hello Hieu, thanks a lot for sharing your current situation with me. As for your essay, I think it’s very good and I’m sure that after the pandemic is over the world will be a different one. Formalities required by hierarchical organizations such as the might IELTS won’t be as important as they might seem to you now. We all need rethink our value system and reset our priorities.

I know that in most Asian societies an individual is not entitled to their opinion and you are taught to obey authorities but corona is will be changing this too. What do you think? When is your government planning to reopen the schools and what are the measures they are planning to take in order to prevent a crisis like the current from happening again?

Stay safe.
Torsten

1 Like