I would be appreciate if somebody correct my essay

Topic

“What recent news story has affected you the most? In what ways has it affected you? Use reasons and examples to support your responses.”

Massive earthquake with magnitude 9 and huge tsunami after that in Japan in 2011 affected me the most in terms of emotional and noted me my responsibility again as civil engineer to work harder and research more.
It is quite acceptable that human in every time and every places during the line of time and history have struggled with various natural disasters and challenges such as drought, illness, storms an so on, but these phenomena have forced human to found new ways to cope with them. The strength of the 9 degree magnitude earthquake in Japan was so high which in the other side of Pacific Ocean extended. Although the earthquake was so tremendous, lots of buildings worked well during earthquake. But, unfortunately the aftermaths of earthquake, tsunami, caused huge damages . In addition more than 30 thousand people died in the north eastern side of Japan based on this tsunami .
Besides all aforementioned losses and damages, the worse occurrence was damaging to the Fokoshima Nuclear Power Plant. Japanese authorities and private company tried hard to control these nuclear radiations which send out from that power plant, but nuclear contamination extended to the water and soil. Even some agricultural products polluted by absorbing this radioactive ray.
At the end I want to reiterate that although disasters are huge and sometimes tragedic, human should try to found new ways to cope with these challenges by researches and innovative solutions to decrease all damages in terms of human loss and economy.

TOEFL listening discussions: Why may Martha need money?

“I would appreciate” or “I would be grateful”
not “I would be appreciate”

Thanks.
What about the essay?

Thank you very much.

Have you passed TOEFL ibt exam?

No. I haven’t taken it. I’m too lazy :((
I learnt it, but haven’t taken the test. I hope I can take it soon. Maybe by the end of this year.
Besides, the cost is too expensive for me.
In fact, I’m practicing Toefl too, so my changes, you should know, maybe not correct or very sound.
Therefore, I hope you to check your essay once more time, then tell me what still bothers you.
Hope we can work through this test together. Ok?

One more thing, if you can, have a look at other learners’ essays. Some are very good, but you can still learn from not-so-good ones by noticing errors, and try to avoid them. Correct other learners’ essays, if you can.

Hi
I do agree with you.