I need someone to correct my essays for TOEFL IBT

If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use specific examples to support your answer.

I live in a beautiful town, places in the North-East of Romania, on seven hills, thus it is been called “the town of seven hills”. Due to his cultural heritage the town is recognized as the cultural capital of Romania. I love my town as it is, but if I had the authority I would try to fit/ create much more parks, playgrounds for children and bicycle lanes. Because of his increasing population, the traffic becomes more and more crowded and so like the public transportation. At peak times is almost impossible to get into a bus or tram, after ten to fifteen minutes of waiting, and you are forced to wait for another bus or to get on foot to your work place or school, with a considerable delay. All the people who need to move from one part of the city to another are forced to spend much more time in traffic than ten or five years ago. That’s why I think that the bicycle lanes would create an alternative choice for who want to get faster to his work or school. The bicycle lanes (trails) would create the opportunity for young people, and not only, to go free and only with a little effort wherever they want.
Furthermore we could also reduce the negative impact of the automobiles on the environment. After all we could try to give up of our comfort of sitting quietly in the cars and to think more about the impact of our cars on air pollution. There is one day per year when is forbidden to ride with your car inside the town, but is not enough.
Obviously we cannot replace all public or personal vehicles with bikes, roller skates or skateboards, but it will be a new beginning for our town “healthy” and ours.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of History

I live in a beautiful town, placeD in the North-East of Romania, on seven hills, thus it is been called “the town of seven hills”. Due to ITS cultural heritage the town is recognized as the cultural capital of Romania. I love my town as it is, but if I had the authority I would try to BUILD much more parks, playgrounds for children and bicycle lanes. Because of ITs increasing population, the traffic becomes more and more crowded and so like the public transportation. At peak times is almost impossible to get into a bus or tram, after ten to fifteen minutes of waiting, and you are forced to wait for another bus or to gO on foot to your work place or school, with a considerable delay. All the people who need to move from one part of the city to another are forced to spend much more time in traffic than ten or five years ago. That’s why I think that the bicycle lanes would create an alternative choice for who wISH to get faster to his/HER work or school. The bicycle lanes (trails) would create the opportunity for young people, and not only, to go free and only with a little effort wherever they want.
Furthermore we could also reduce the negative impact of the automobiles on the environment. After all we could try to give up of our comfort of sitting quietly in the cars and to think more about the impact of our cars on air pollution. There is one day per year when iT IS forbidden to ride IN your car inside the town, but is not enough.
Obviously we cannot replace all public or personal vehicles with bikes, roller skates or skateboards, but it will be a new beginning for our town’s “healthy” and ours.


Good Essay. :slight_smile: Please include a conclusion or your marks will be deducted in toefl exam. A conclusion is must.
Read more often so you write better.

Thanks for your remarks!