I need a piece of advice for the writing part of TOEFL?

English as a Second Language English Vocabulary, Grammar and Idioms
1

I’d like to hear your advice and experiences about how to improve our writing skills. I would be really grateful if someone pointed out my mistakes and the certain points I need to improve in the essay I’m going to paste below :blush:

It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends.

The old friends and the new ones are large and important parts of our lives. But instead of keeping the old friends, does making new friends sound better? Some may support the more friends you have the better it is for you. However, I think that the quality, not the quantity matters most.
To begin with, the old friends that we have especially for a long while are the ones that know us well even sometimes better than ourselves. Since they know what kind of personality we have, it is easy for them to carry out the relationship. Their expectations from us and the other way around our expectations from them are much more simple than with new friends since both sides have a rooted relationship from the past.
What’s more, the old friends have better loyalty to us than anybody could have. They are the ones that we could easily turn our backs to and would show up when we need their help to get through difficult situations we come across with. They are not just with us whenever we need them beside but also they have our back in the occasions that we don’t ask for them to. For example, I had 2 old friends who are also my best friends and they’re the first ones after my family that I try to reach out to and hear their advice about the issues I’m having difficulty to deal with. They can be pretty accurate and straightforward with me that’s most I need during those times
In conclusion, the idea that supports making new friends better than keeping old friends always going to exist but I think we are not looking for friends just to talk to instead we need friends to have something in common and share with comfortably. I strongly believe the old friends are a kind of treasure to us and we need to understand their importance better.

3 Likes
2

Hi Burga, your writing is very cohesive and I understand every point you are trying to make. If you want to improve your writing skills you need to read more, especially scientific articles and do a lot of transcribing. Let’s see what @Andrea thinks.

Best regards,
Torsten

3 Likes
3

Hi Burga, thank you for sharing your writing piece. You have valid points about making new friends and keeping old ones.

Here is a website about friends: Making Good Friends - HelpGuide.org

Here is a website to help with writing: 5 Simple ways to improve your written English | EF English Live Blog

From what I’ve read here, 5 things are very important:

  • Expand vocabulary
  • Master English spelling
  • Read regularly
  • Improve your grammar
  • Just do it!

Hope this helps. Good luck!
Take care, Andrea

4 Likes
4

I see that you want to become a writer.The structure is good but don not forget that there is big difference between American English and British English.Personally I understand very easy what you are expressing but to think as a native is a challenge so to speak.For me as Bulgarian the structure of the whole story is good and comprehensible.You are more close to the British English which is right.If you become a bookwarm you will start to think on the given language and you will use directly all the necessary ways of expressing. Good luck and don not forget that you are doing it for Yourself.

5 Likes