I know it is neither poetic, nor gripping, but it will suffice for my question...

I know it is neither poetic, nor gripping, but it will suffice for my question:

Staring intently in the foggy distance, eyes scanning the ocean floor, I sat, exhausting for how long I’d been waiting, waiting for the imminent attack, preparing for battle, preparing for my foe’s demise, petrified, as I finally looked face-to-face at my enemy, scarred and unsightly.

Below are the terms for the phrases and clause used:

1)Would you agree that I’m correct?

Pariticple phrase, absolute phrase, independent clause, participle phrase X4, adjective, dependent clause, appositive adjective.

2)Would you say the word in bold would be better as exhausted?

3)What do you think of this sentence, in terms of style, rather than in terms of word choice? (honesty, as I wrote it in seconds).

Thanks in advance.

Exhausted is the word to use.

Staring, would also be better

Eyes rapidly blinking, would help, but difficult while staring.

Sitting patiently negates the above sentence.

Style 4/10.

Grammatical questions ?.. No idea my friend. Ask a Moderator.

Kitosdad.

Thanks for picking up on the spelling! I know how to spell that too; I just rushed this, sorry.

Secondly, why do you say that it should be exhausted? Are you saying ‘exhausting’ is ungrammatical? This present pariticple for I’ve used seems to say he is in the process of exhausting, rather than already exhausted; I thought it would still be grammatical… Your thoughts?

Cheers

Good morning Eddie, I apologise for my error. You are of course correct in using exhausting. I had failed to realise that you were underwater, and I was thinking more of a battle situation on land. My error, not yours.

Have to give myself a kick, you know where. :slight_smile:

Kitosdad.